August 24, 2009

On Compliments...

Well friends, here we go, another blimp of non-sensical blah-blah-blah on my random radar. I really just have an overwhelming need to jot this tidbit down. Now I have drawn my conclusion not randomly or due to one or two instances, but rather over the course of many years and much observation. Now see if this scenario sounds familiar?

Woman #1: "Wow, you look great. Love your dress!"

Woman #2 (in stunning dress): "Oh thanks, I got it on the clearance rack for $20 at ____insert store here."

Now I am as guilty as any of being woman number two. My point (finally) here is, that women are so often times unable to accept compliments and rather offset the compliment with the cost, the deal, or the ol' "oh, this old thing". Now I just wonder to myself, why? Why are we unable to just say "thank you" be gracious and accept the darn compliment? Is it a self-esteem issue? Do we pride ourselves on looking great on a dime? Are we just deterring the awkwardness? I sat down and thought about it, before blogging here and I have no idea. I honestly think it is ingrained in me from an early age. Perhaps not hearing my mother or peers freely accept a compliment has now evolved into a vicious cycle of nonacceptance. It is just so funny to me because I hear it all the time, and admittedly am guilty of the same infraction 90% of the time!

Well ladies, I say we have to snap out of it; break the cycle. I want to be an example for my daughter and if someone gives me a compliment, it doesn't mean it's up for debate, just accept what they are saying is from their heart and go with it. We allow a bit of self-admiration and then knock ourselves down. I must say my husband used to compliment my looks often. And what did I do? You guessed it, always had to retort. My cheese thighs, big butt, double chin. It was always something. I don't know if I will ever be satisfied with "me" on the outside, but I like the inside. I am trying to teach my kids that very lesson. So shouldn't I cut myself some slack too? God made us all beautiful in his eyes, always beautiful to our partner, always beautiful to our children, despite how much we paid for the dress. If I'm big enough to accept my strengths and shortcomings on the inside, I should sure be able to accept the same on the outside. Maybe and just maybe, subconsciously, as moms, friends, women, we know that what's on the inside is so much more important, that's why we can't as willingly accept the "outer" compliments. Because in the great scheme of things it really bears no merit right?

Or maybe not:)


  1. Wow! you really touched a nerve. I've been sitting here and writing my thoughts, erasing them, re-writing, and trying again.
    I think.....(if I don't end up starting over again and this actually makes it to post) it has to do with how we don't want others to perceive our acceptance of a compliment as vanity. Does that make sense?
    O.k.....I think I'll post it now. I hope it comes across the way I meant it. In a good way, not a bad way......oh gosh, I'm getting the feeling I want to erase I go anyway, I'll take a chance......

  2. YES!!! That is what I wanted to say but couldn't quite get there. Glad you're taking a chance, go for it):)

  3. Hi there. Just stumbled across your site from on the mom blogs. I do agree we do as women always down play compliments. (I think we learn this from family, friends and media.)

  4. Thanks for stopping by Shawnda! Most certainly the media has a huge hand in the way we portray ourselves as women, and what is attractive. Great point.


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