Did I get your attention with that title or what? Gone off the deep end you ask? Long, long ago my friends....so moving on...this is 3 days of sticky goodness all wrapped up in one neat long little post.
First...puke. I'll make it brief for you queasy type folk out there. Yesterday drama queen puked, only once, at her cousin's birthday party. I attribute it now to exhaustion after a 4 hour day at the Dodge Nature Center in 90 degree heat, dehydration, excitement and sugar. But at the time and last night, nursing her 101 degree temperature, I had a wee panic attack.
Queue slap...then it hit me like a ton of bricks, a four alarm slap in the face...IF drama queen is sick with flu-like symptoms, there is no way I can have the nanny come into the house of horrors so I can go to work tomorrow. Albeit my work is pretty flexible, I had a double capacity class I was teaching and had all the material with me, there is no way I could miss that. (P.s. I'd choose my kids over work any day of the week, but Momma gotta pay the bills too, no sick days for the Momma).
All of a sudden being a single Mom seemed more real than ever. In a pinch, I haven't got that "someone" to lean on (trust me tried that with BD, a.k.a baby daddy, before to no avail, several times). Drama queen popped right out of bed this morning chipper as ever, no temp and feeling great, thank God! But I still had a million "what ifs" running through my head. If the real thing don't kill ya, the "what ifs" WILL. I hate when I do that. I get my self all worked up about things that could potentially happen, what my defensive move would be...only me trying to logically organize hypothetical situations. (Sigh) Nonetheless, I'm feeling lonely today, feeling a lot of weight on my shoulders.... I know I can do it, but I feel the heaviness of it all. I liken it to laundry day, you lug all the laundry to the wash room, heavy baskets and bags, and feel almost conquered by the sheer mountainous look of it; but you know you’ll get through it, bit by bit, load by load. So I’m not feeling conquered, just gotta get through it bit by bit I guess; although the task ahead is most certainly daunting.
Finally, the dang squirrels! Real live squirrels, you know, furry, fluffy tail, fast, road kill type critters. Last night in the mist of my mini-breakdown, two rogue squirrels dart out in front of my car at two different times! Usually, a squirrel will start running out, see the car and turn around. OH NO, these rebel squirrels decided to gun it across the road and miraculously maneuver around my tires, because I swear I gripped the steering wheel and held my breath in anticipation of the "bu-bump". No bu-bumps. They made it, lived to wreak havoc on another poor driver another day. Two in one night though? What are the odds? Mild heart attack. May as well keep baby aspirin by the gum in the glove box for goodness sakes!
“Once one determines that he or she has a mission in life, that it’s not going to be accomplished without a great deal of pain, and that the rewards in the end may not outweigh the pain-if you recognize historically that always happens, then when it comes, you survive it.” -Richard Nixon