August 06, 2010

Pondering Under Gray

So, yesterday, while I was plucking my gray hairs...the more I pull the faster they grow, I had a thought!!!!  Time for a touch  up on my "natural color" maybe?  That wasn't it, but necessary however.  Okay, here it is...I haven't mentioned that the last couple of weeks have been super stressful.  No worries, I haven't turned to the bottle, but have eaten my way through a sleeve of Oreos or three.  Gabe got booted off our insurance (thanks Autism) and only had medical assistance.  Medical assistance is just that, assistance.  It basically cut his therapy time from 4 days a week to 2, and it did NOT cover our therapist, AND it does not cover the school for Autism Day Treatment next year!!!!  I could not believe it, now what?  Private insurance is CRAZY expensive plus Gabe has a "pre-existing condition", so we were in a tight spot to say the least.  My plans, all the work I'd put into getting him into school the last year were shattered within a minute.  Of course, as always, my Mama Bear instinct set in...I wasn't going down without a fight and a series of meetings, phone calls, letter writing, and legal aide consumed my free time.  I am happy to report as of September 1st, Gabe is back on our insurance plan!  Thank you GOD!!!!

So this is where my gray hair pondering comes into play.  I was just reflecting on the roller coaster the kids and I have been on this last year; and self admittedly had a "why?" moment.  But then started to think, if we never reached those really low lows, we would never experience the absolute miracles that we have in our lives throughout the last year.  I know all the craziness has been God's plan because that is way it needed to be.  I've got a confession, I'm pretty stubborn, whoa!  If all the circumstances in my life the last year had not been so dramatic I wouldn't of had to make dramatic decisions I did and would possibly be in a worse situation, stuck in a marriage with a very sick person, and Gabe may not be on this path to recovery he is because I would not have the means or the will to fight for him.  If we don't allow ourselves to hit those lows, we will never allow God the chance to do the most wonderful, amazing things in our lives, to open doors we never thought existed, to allow people in our lives to do extraordinary things for us, to fill us up so completely....I'm so blessed.  Not one day goes by that I don't think that, not one hour. 

Only one cup of coffee down...interrupted 8 times by the kids, think I had better sign off.  I hope God reveals some amazing blessings in your lives today!

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