June 27, 2010

The Weeks Bottom 10


Here is how this is going to go down, for reasons which will become clear momentarily, I shall not even attempt to assemble any of my nonsense in paragraph form, infact, you'll be fortunate to get complete sentences. For lack of venting purposes I shall air my grievances in list form. It's been "one of those weeks", yes it can always get worse, yes I've tried to shift my thinking to the positive, yes I've said a prayer in the car, before bed, at the table, in quiet times, and on my gosh darn knees. Sometimes a whole lot of irritating little things just add up to "one of those weeks".


1. My feet hurt so bad that my toenails ache. Is that really possible? Cute over comfort? What was I thinking?

2. My brain is fatigued... have to work the weekend...is it over yet?

3. Jerks who hacked into my bank account this week....choice words, thinking of torture methodology...already prayed to be forgiven for that rant, run...and hide hackers! I know you stole my money to pay for a kidney operation, buy baby formula, and pay your rent so you’re not living in a box….right?
4. Hates when things/people stop being fun or at least semi-enjoyable, and get too serious; sometimes life is going to be just plain shitty, but I've lived to tell the tale, brighter days are ahead; you can't get too bogged down otherwise you take everyone around you with ya.

5. Wonders why I pay my family to babysit my children...oh yeah...

6. Has hidden some "friends" posts on Facebook because I really don't care what you are having for breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days a week already!!!! If I were a braver girl, I just wouldn’t care or would make a witty comment so you get the point (people are talking an nobody likes it, daily groan) or would de-friend you, but not so brave.  Scene: Cari runs and hides behind blog.  End scene.

7. I’m just saying...would not give up one and only visitation day with children to go on alleged date with new girl-friend...just saying...if it were me...which it isn't...because I don't even have time to pee let alone find the time to "date"....just saying.

Fyi…giving up precious hours of sleep to blog…umm, while I pee….

8. Don't like the angry resentment stricken me this week, trying to correct it.  Hoping list format accelerates correction time.

9. I didn't get the mind reading gene, so if you have something to say to me, say it; I thank you in advance.

10. Blogger is a pain in the booty, takes too long to edit correctly even if I c&p from another source, and would like an updated spell check in the house, and sure readers would appreciate grammar as well.  Note cannot get 3 and 4 to space properly even though it appears so, it LIES.  Would switch to Wordpress, but I've got to pee.

11. Is glad that it is one more day until a day off, which many a mounting project is now completed and off my plate, is proud of myself for accomplishing so much this week and not going totally bonkers.

Amen.

June 24, 2010

Echo, echo, echolalia...

Today I took the kids to see Toy Story 3.  This was a great moment of anticipation in our house.  My children watch either TS 1 or 2 once a week.  It was really cute, the drama queen was scared and a bit shaken in some parts, have to admit it had a dark tone and an incinerator scene, but fantastic ending, two thumbs up.  So I had promised the kiddies I'd take them, we opted to go to the "normal" version, not 3D (why does everything have to be 3D now).  How was I going to swing a GFCFSF movie for the boy?  Usually the only thing that keeps him going in the movies are the snacks.  I have no remorse about stuffing my purse with goodies for him, but I was wondering how he'd deal with not getting the other treats.  The theater was fantastic by the way, can't say enough, I had explained his dietary restraints and asked if I could bring snacks in AND they even gave me an empty popcorn bag to put his homemade popcorn in just like his sisters.  Of course I then felt obliged to spend 18 dollars at the snack bar to show how grateful I was, even though I probably had enough treats in my bag to easily feed the first ten rows.  Suffice it to say, the boy's popcorn bag was nearly empty by the time the previews were over (little nervous).  And jeez, half and hour of stinkin' previews, sheesh.  Of course he sat so well during those too.  The last half an hour of the movie was shaky.  He was hopped up on jelly bellies and Dum Dums and in and out of the seat more than I care to recant.  The theater was only half full, so that didn't bug me so much, and he is only 3, so he can't obstruct anyone's view.  The part I was befuddled about was the "echolalia".  Some children with Autism have severe echolalia, where they will repeat things they hear consistently or recite or script things.  We haven't had a huge problem with echolalia, but seeing as he's really only just begun to talk, I would suppose not.  So I've been watching him, deciphering incidents of note, whether or not it is indeed echolalia and deferring to the Speech Pathologist.  It seems the only time the boy hits strides of echolalia or scripting most often, is when there are alot of people talking at once and he just repeats what is heard.  Well...loud movie theater, overstimulated visually plus sugar equalled the recitation of Toy Story 3 by the boy.  And if I haven't mentioned this before, Gabe doesn't understand and can't do "inside voice".  I tried to shush him to no avail and  ultimately I gave up.  It's a kids movie, no one really seemed to care, so I let it go.  Apologies to all the wonderful parents who didn't shush us in the theater.  So tomorrow I'll go report to the speech path, I'm sure she'll shrug it off, as she is on the recovery bandwagon, which I LOVE, that is the goal after all.  We started probiotics four days ago, which can cause a few weeks of regression before progression, so I'm on high alert as is.  I have seen some near miraculous progress since we went totally GFCFSF.  Unbelievable.  It is worth all the headache, heartache, and cooking and cooking and cooking.  What a little trooper.  Love my little guy more than words can say. Oh, and I heart you too Pixar, well done.

June 20, 2010

Purging=Multiplication?

In an effort to ignore the fact that today was Father's Day, and almost the year anniversary of my life spiraling out of control, I did what I do best...1)took a nap, long overdue might I add, and 2)cleaned out the toy room while the kid's were with their Dad. This picture is POST clean-up! Wha-what? I took two paper grocery bags of stuffies alone to good will today, how did this happen? I know I may be like a broken record here, expounding upon the "things multiply while you're not looking", i.e. stuffies, Easter basket grass, and plastic play food. Perhaps my blog is not a forum for venting about my crazy life, but will prove in years to come to be the scientific proof of the "purging=multiplication" theory with major emphasis on children's toys and general pain in the a#$ items (which generally require vacuum attachments). Of course, I had warned the drama queen, that I would be taking some stuffies to good will, and spouted the some kids don't have toys, we must be generous, we are blessed lines, etc. So I told her to tell me the top 5 stuffies she couldn't live without. Trust me, this is something I could not do without her having prior knowledge, she is a stuffy hoarder, she knows each one, and loves them all, and knows if one goes missing. There was a general mourning period when she arrived home which involved tears and drama. I appreciate her love for the stuffy, I was that way with dolls as a child; and I still wear a scar from the time my Dad "purged" in a rage, except he threw all of my stuffies and dolls away. I'm still heartbroken. I don't know how we accumulate so many darned stuffies! As of late we inherited 200 plus Beanie Babies, which I have been weaning down and donating to many friends, to their dismay, many a playmate has a beanie or two squirreled away in their bag as they leave a play date, hee hee. I feel that I have made it clear to relatives that stuffies do not make good gifts, however, this seems not apply to Grandmothers...grrrr. The toy box pictured above is dedicated to stuffies alone. Is not a large toy box full enough? I am just dumb-founded that after the donation sort, after the children and I cleaned up before bed, it (toy box) was again overflowing. I probably stood there in dismay for a minute or two. All I can do is chalk it up to the P=M theory of pain in the butt kiss.


On a fantastic note, my nap was beyond phenomenal. I slept so well. You Mommy's know that after you have kids, you never sleep the same again. Who knows if I reach REM or not, my continual fatigue leads me to believe no. But I sit straight up in bed if I hear a shuffle, moan, or peep. Just knowing they were not here allowed me the chance to enjoy a dreamy deep sleep. That was my Father's Day gift to myself, as Monday through Saturday, with the exception of four hours on Sunday, I am Mom and Dad. So, I had a million other things I could've done, but I didn’t. I'm rather proud of myself. I did scold "baby-daddy" for his lack of discretion about feeding the kids junk all the time without concern for the ingredients, GFCFSF, for the boy and just sugar intake in general. He did oblige, and to my knowledge didn't buy them any gas station goodies. But, I also sent along some amazing Chocolate-Cherry cupcakes, which are divine, and well worth the four dollar price tag, a piece!

June 11, 2010

The Lotus


"Though my soul may sit in darkness, it will rise in perfect light, I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."   ~Sarah Williams


I love the story of the Lotus flower, in fact, I have a tattoo of it; and I love that I am surrounded by it and constantly reminded of it at work.


If you are unfamiliar with the Lotus, here's just a tidbit.  The Lotus starts as a small flower at the bottom of the pond growing in the mud and muck.  Slowly, it grows upward towards the water's surface continually moving towards the light.  Once it comes to the surface of the water the Lotus begins to blossom into a beautiful fragrant flower.  So, one can see why many religions and cultures revere the Lotus as an analogy for life, or one's path.

Isn't that just perfect?  Something so beautiful comes from such a dark dirty place.  It's a true Cinderella story don't you think?  I like to think so.  I think our lives cycle many times, from seedling to full bloom, from dark to light, from despair to happiness.  But as long as we are always moving towards the light, we are growing.  As long as we are always reaching for something better, brighter, we won't fall back.  I'm always striving to move forward, spiritually, mentally,  in every capacity of my life.  I'm pretty sure I'll never find "enlightenment" if you will, but that's okay, I'm happy flawed, somewhat crabby, and a total mess.  If there's anything life has taught me in the last year, it is that things get better, it DOES all happen for a reason, and we have control over the path which we take.  The choice to change, to grow, is always present, a continual option, we must have the courage to take the leap.  Happy Friday all!

June 08, 2010

Post It Note Tuesday

Okay, I was going to make a big to-do about this, but here it is almost midnight, and there is no "do" left in my "to".  I am going to follow along Post It Note Tuesday over on Supahmommy, you can click on her cute post it at the bottom of the page.  Basically, I'll make this short, as it really is a post it note tuesday, no need for a long blog post, sum it up with a post it.  Why not?  I think this will be fun as I have tons of useless garbage jangling around in the ol' head of mine which is dying to make it's way out to the blogosphere.






Couldn't we all be so lucky, Carrie, couldn't we all?  Happy Tuesday friends!

June 01, 2010

Two are better than one, and 20 are the best


"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~Anais Nin


This post is dedicated to the A girls, and I know some of you read. I do not know where to begin; I can't find the right words to describe. I thank you for touching my life. I am grateful that I can be witness to the grace and lives of all of you beautiful women, and am blessed to know you. Whatever the reasoning may be, fate, chance, or God's hand, we were brought together and provide a quite strength in time of need. All given without regret, without a moment's hesitation, in beautiful humility. Through the good and the bad, the tears and the laughter, I am proud to know you, and grateful that I may witness the unfolding of the beauty God has in store for you all. Strength to those feeling weak, love to those feeling less loved, peace to those with breaking hearts. I will always offer my hand to hold. Love to you all.