April 28, 2011

Google Gone Bad

So this whole Google post was prompted by the post promptress herself, Kat, at Mama's Losin' It. She does a fabulous weekly workshop with promises of chasing away the writer's block and you can link up each and every Thursday. I intend to do this every week, but alas, too much other junk to post on my blog of all things irrelevant. And as you'll see my posts have a crazy way of starting on one topic and ending on another. I refuse to believe this has anything to do with my attention span and is a specialty of mine that I like to call, “multi-tasking”.

Here was one of last week's prompts {a few weeks/months? ago}, which I started, until it took a Google for the worst.  You should see my drafts, holy cow!

"What is one thing you don't know about me".

I'm a cold steel vault and you'll never get it out of me.  Here's what I came up with, contrary to what I may want you to think, I'm not a lush. Yeah, don't really drink much at all, unless it's socially, even then, not much. ZZZZZ. Now I'm sure you just think I'm crazy instead of drunk.  Um, I eat a grapefruit every day, okay snooze fest. I'm really a 300 pound male convict writing you from the penitentiary. You see where I'm going here. If you Google me {don’t really, I’m just speaking figuratively, no stalking please, I have a black belt in Karate, teach self-defense on the weekend, and know how to make a shiv out of a barbie and some legos} you'll come up empty handed, and that does not bother me. However, if I keep up the mechanical bull riding and other shenanigans, that will probably change fairly soon.

I have been known to do a little pre-date Googling from time to time. You know just looking for red flags like: AXE MURDERER, FELONY, WANTED, AT LARGE, ARMED, ALABAMA, but that's it really.

oodles of googles
So I got to thinking...if I could add something really incredible to my life's story, what would it be? Even better, if I worked at Google, could I just add it on?  Brilliant, posting resume, click. Then I remembered once seeing a documentary on how amazing it is to work at Google, akin to Pixar. If you want to roller-skate too close to the jelly bean waterfall and inflatable slide so be it, just don't get in the way of the paper airplane contest when you're jumping on the trampoline. I love trampolines!  It's all about invoking inspiration and creative thinking. People if I can make this kind of magic sitting on my couch with a laptop, imagine what I could do in a corner at Google! God Bless America! Why haven't they called me?

Back to my greatness, what would I add? Maybe blog wins Nobel Peace Prize {repent, the end is near}. Maybe a Grammy? I cannot sing a lick, but wish I could and try all the time. Boy the Bieber lynch mob would be after me in no time! To single handedly take on health care reform and make it work, like it. Thirty-five year old pageant queen blogger woman learns 5 languages by osmosis, si`, oui, tak. How about a pioneering discovery on how blogging prevents wrinkles and burns more calories than the stair climber? {Now I'm dreaming}

On the other hand, would I erase anything? Well, control, alt, delete comes to mind for a good ten years and most of college {all you old college buddies can keep your trap shut, I've blacked it all out and don't need reminding, unless I owe you bail money or something, let's be discreet}. But if I erased some of those bad times, or bad decisions, they may not have lead me to where I am now. I like where I am, could it be better, yes, always yes, but I'm content.

Life might look a pile of individual puzzle pieces that don't make much sense scattered all about. But God finds a way to help us put the pieces in order, and then we see the bigger picture. Putting a puzzle together is not something you can do with a snap of the fingers, at least I can't {and those 3D ones, geez} it takes time, patience, lots of room to grow and a good foundation.

If you could insert accolades to your credit, what would they be?

{No cop outs like world peace, winning the lottery or curing cancer, dig deep...like me, ha}


  1. I'm to old to pretend to be someone I'm not. It's hard enough just being me. No accolades for me. I am what I am :-)

  2. Sounds like you made up quite the story about yourself.

    I like what you said at the end about life being a bunch of puzzle pieces. Together they form our life. Nicely done.

  3. to google yourself or not. I like to look for other me's on FACEBOOk too. Makes laugh.


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