April 04, 2011

The Sass at Six

{This is a good picture of me...wearing my skinny jeans}
The drama queen, a.k.a six year old daughter, has developed quite a fondness for the art of "sass", often times totally blindsiding me and leaving me speechless. This inevitably prompts the usual parental response, "What did you just say to me?” This then invokes an even sassier response from the child. All of a sudden she turns six and this? Can I chalk this up to a developmental milestone?

One of my pet peeves is trash mouth kids. I cannot handle name calling, and "potty mouths”. Don't pick up your toys, or spill your juice, or share your toys, I can handle that, we can work through that. But sass, it just pushes my buttons; how does she know this? Kids are so darned intuitive, I hate that...love that...no, hate that.

A fit of sass even took her Father by surprise, whom on his day with the kids texted me asking me what he should do because drama queen "hated him and etcetera, sass, sass, sass". My reply, "how offended are you". {As you can see, doesn't get the sass from me} Part of me wanted to text and say, come on, man up, parent your child here. But to be quite honest, I couldn't as that would've been highly hypocritical considering I don't know the best way to handle it myself. Yes, that was me taking the high road and attempting to co-parent our children.  I threw out a few possible options of recourse and told him to stick it out, don't give into her or allow the behavior to continue. We aren't spanking folk, although, there was a first and last time that there was a spanking with drama queen, and I still use that memory as a threat under duress. But I don't feel in any way comfortable with it, and that's just me, to each his own. However, I do not advocate abuse in any form, physically, mentally or emotionally. Nor do I think a thoughtful, calm spanking {is that possible} is necessarily wrong, but it's not my style. Fit of rage spanking....whole other can of worms...if you're raging...STOP, take a time out!

I try so very hard to be a patient parent, to help my kids work it out, however, it's not like when they throw their coat on the floor. And my rationalizing that those aren't kind words and blah, blah, waaa, waaa {think Charlie Brown}, as I receive a blank stare are obviously not working.

It also doesn't help that any headway I make in the matter is blown to smithereens as soon as I pick her up from daycare and she's been hanging with her trash mouth friends. This I cannot control. But I believe as a parent I deserve some level of respect, scratch that, sounding like my parents, reword; as a human being I deserve a level of respect when you speak to me. There is no reason to speak to someone that way. Hmmm, how to make this stick?

I suppose I really have to model kind behavior, which I try to be conscious of, but I'm only human {and a little sassy}.

Anyone have any advice on how they have dealt with the "sass"?


  1. No advice from me, but I'll be waiting with you for great ideas from any other readers :-)

  2. Gretchen, we never did get our answer from the parenting guru guy did we. Maybe I need his number:) At this point, I'm open to anything.

  3. we emphasis speaking nicely over and over, what can you say instead of no (I have a really rational almost 6 year old that often gives me a "good reason" for wanting to disagree with me, valid points too) I say "change the sound of your voice plese" a lot lately - all in all I try not to get too excited about it all... we talk a lot about the feeling is ok (I want to say no to a lot of things too, and I do I guess, just ask my kids!!!) but the way to act when you are having sassy feelings isn't ok... I want personality, not disrespect...
    Erin - I am going to be checking back a few times to see others' answers!!! This is a daily struggle at our house!

  4. Well Erin and Gretchen, looks like so far we're the only ones with this problem {mm right}. All the other parents must just use duct tape:)


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