May 23, 2011

Memory Monday: Think I Ruined It



I was supposed to do this last week, sorry Kelsi. This is a new link up by Kelsi at Modern Mom, Redefined. You post a favorite picture with the memory and link up, easy as that. Go ahead, do it. Being the blog loving people person that I am...I am just finally getting around to it. And yes, I am that person that lets you in front of me in rush hour traffic; I'm nice like that, its how I roll.  Plus, I really like Kelsi, she's a good Mommy.



Now I am a blogger who schedules out my posts, unless inspiration should hit, so here I am at the last hour scouring my back logs of photos. Procrastinate you say? Yes, don't mind if I do. I thought this was going to be an easy peasy post, I'd find something cute like a chubby cheek picture, or "whoa look at that mess", or rainbows and glitter...but not so much. Warning: Sap factor increasing, cynical sarcasm fading fast.


I had been in La La land, reminiscing for about an hour, when I just felt, well...sad. In midst of my walk down memory lane, it occurred to me that I will have been "officially" divorced one year this week. {Told you, grab your Kleenex} I should clarify; the divorce is a good thing, well as good as divorce goes I suppose. So again, as I was looking back for the perfect "Memory", I realized so many of those memories were as a family of four. I'm not going to lie {it's not in my nature} it was just downright depressing. Fabulous memories, but so bittersweet. Life is not always "picture perfect", nor does it turn out the way we dreamed it would be. And Lord knows it can come crashing down on you and even drown you if you let it. My little boo-hoo fest was not because I was missing what once was, or him {just to make clear, because I know you're reading Mr. X., so don't get any ideas}. There is something magical about a photo that can take you back to that very moment. All the emotion, hopes and dreams you held in the deepest part of your heart come flooding back as if the camera just clicked. It's so funny how a single photo can stir things in the depths of your soul like that. I think how things are so very different now, very different from how I pictured them just 2 years ago.


Our journey as a now family of three has been an arduous two year rollercoaster ride. And we're doing great. And, I'm at peace; well unless I'm ranting about someone or something. Maybe peace at 70/30? My little family of three is blessed beyond measure.


So, I never really chose a "memory" or photo, so this one will do. My greatest joy...our biggest adventure has only just begun.

5 comments:

  1. Thanks for the shoutout, and for taking the trip down memory lane. I know how hard it can be... some of my memories are one that I so don't want to remember. But in those yucky feeling in your gut memories, there is so much strength that I always find. You can never "ruin" Memory Monday.... memories don't have to be good memories. Most of my memories have turned out to be bittersweet, because, well, that's just reality for now! And, memories can be recent... something that you want to remember for time to come. =) Hope to see you again next week. I love your honesty... it's exactly what the blog hop needs ((plus, how many other people out there can read it and relate? I know I can, in a way)). **hugs**

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  2. Hi, great site! I'm blog hopping..following you on Networked and Google! Have a great week!

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  3. Thanks Island girl!

    Kelsi- Thanks for the sweet comment. I didn't feel so bad posting after I read your post today. LOVED it! Found myself feeling those same things looking back too.

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  4. sometimes divorce is a good thing. The best bday present I ever received was 5 years ago on my birthday the judge signed my divorce papers.

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