May 09, 2011

Refund Please

Dear overpriced bath cleanser mega-fleecing store & company,

I am returning the unused portions of this soap and would like a full refund please. It says here on the bottle, "the sweet scent of coconut mingles with refreshing lime to help relieve stress and tension-like a tropical island getaway."

Not my photo, click here if you're curious

Two words. False & Advertising. I am still tense and nothing about my 4 minute shower screams "tropical island" or "getaway". And it’s making me hungry.

What? No refund? Advertising so I will buy your product? Seduced by fantastical verbiage you say? I'll have you know I will not be partaking in your buy 9 get one free "bargain" sales anymore. And should I read the line, "time to pamper yourself" one more time, I will come unglued.

Thank you.

P.S. I wouldn't mind being compensated in the form of a job with health care benefits. I would be willing to sacrifice my own integrity for you by spinning your web of lies writing descriptive sentences on the back of your soap and lotion bottles. I am good at creative writing, check my blog out. Upon employment I will retract above posting. If you know anyone at Sherwin Williams, I might also be willing to name paint colors.

Call me.


Let me know what you think by posting a comment or sending me an email, I promise not to stalk you if you do!