May 31, 2011

Show Down With The Queen

No...not this one-->                                 

This one...I think....

This post is making me itchy already. I don't like bugs. Killer instinct and all. But I soon think my blog shall be renamed, "Bugs on my Shoe". My weekly postings will consist of frivolous ramblings, Autism, and my latest bug encounter of the week and how said bug found its demise. {In case you missed the last riveting spider story, here} That's me Jacques Cousteau of the bug world; here to entertain and inform. Here are the facts...

I glance down at my sparkly new flip flop {which broke this the gas station...causing me to step in gas station mystery puddle...not happy about that...degreasing and foot}. Anyway glancing, and thought I saw something move or dart, could've darted. I hate when I see things out of the corner of my eye like that. So I think oh, what is that? Probably just remains of GFCF chocolate muffin {which are quite tasty} not an improbable assumption. I reach for the paper towel to swipe up the mess, and the crumb moved. Upon further inspection, it was no crumb, but an ant; bigger than your typical little sidewalk ant hill type ant. This was a smart ant. He didn't scurry willy nilly, he froze in the looming shadow of death. Humm, smart little guy, and I go in for the smush. Holy moly, this dude was fast. I have never seen a faster ant! What the heck kind of ant is this? I for one don't like it. Upon further inspection after I killed it, I thought, whoa, maybe it's the Queen ant? I'd never really seen an ant that big indoors. But the Queen wouldn't risk death for a GFCF chocolate muffin; I mean I said they are good, but not that good. Besides the Queen has all those slaves workers to fetch food for her. She just stays in the nest or hill or whatever and has sex all day. I'm just assuming here. Tough life the queen has.

But, no, it was not the Queen. Because I spotted four more of those suckers, frozen in terror, or blending in or acting smarter than me, whatever; they're dead. Of course, I naturally referred to my friend Google to tell me what kind of ant this was. I mean the whole poisonous killer spider in the banana bunch story just came out, who knows if this thing snuck in my grocery sack full of nutritious food, or Twinkie box, whatever. Now friends, as per the norm, I'm freaking out just a tad. There are many a type of ant this could be; and it doesn't look good. The only thing that possibly looks okay here is the fact that it was high noon when I killed them and I haven't found anymore. Further, I do not have time to take Google's suggestion to devise some sort of staking out quest to find the nest in my wall, or cellar, or wooded lot. Nor do I want to mix up some potion of half honey half blabbety, blah, blah mixture to snuff them out. I was worried when I read these words, "these ants prefer meat". What? Hold the phone, or in my case pick it up and call the Exterminator. I'm on it.

And as much as I adore and appreciate your comments, don't tell me what species this could be, because no, I did not get a good look at the thorax or notice any yellowish hairs on the abdomen or whatever. I am aware; I possibly may be living in a pile of saw dust by evening. Okay. Thanks for reading. Just can't wait until the Mosquitoes hatch, boohoo!

Pretty sure I'm going to have to wean myself off the Googling. 

{And saying, "whatever"}


  1. HA! And now I'm itchy. I had an issue with those little tiny, never one but only a billion strong ants once. I literally couldn't sleep.

    And thanks for the reminder on mosquito time. Our seasons consist of Winter, Winter,Kinda Spring and Mosquito up here. Good times.

  2. Lol. Indeed. Sorry, then I'll mention nothing about ticks and West Nile.

  3. If they wear tiny tool belts and hard hats, my guess is carpenter ants.

    DO NOT YouTube "ants eating flesh".

  4. I hate bugs!!! And this is the time for them to start trying to make their ways into our homes and living off of our food and air condition. Dumb freeloaders! Lol! Good luck!

  5. You should thank your heavenly stars you don't live in Florida, here. Because you would know exactly what kind of ant that was. We have fire ants and let me tell you, they are aptly named. Their sting creates a fiery sting.

    And I think the Queen Bee definitely has the best job in all of animal kingdom.

  6. I hate bugs too! But they sure do love me! Especially mosquitoes an fleas!

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