June 07, 2011

Fairy Gate

The Drama Queen has officially reached the toothless grin years of her life. Very exciting...very dramatic. I have an entire post aptly named, Tooth Gate, because it was nothing short of ridiculous. But my kids slept in yesterday! That was like the first time....ever. And it through me off and I inadvertently deleted the post instead of publishing it. Don't ask me how. I do not know. {I think going between MAC and PC from home and work has nearly tripled my technical malfunctions quota.}  Perhaps I should up my caffeine intake.
Do you believe in the Tooth Fairy? Well once upon a time I did. And when I found out that she, Santa, and the Easter bunny did not exist, I was crushed. My daughter has a tender heart; I can only imagine the same bleak outcome for her. That is why her father and I initially decided to scrap the whole non-existent bearer of gifts gig entirely. They are going to get a present, doesn't matter who it comes from, we'll celebrate the real reason for the season. Well, FAIL. My kids are Santa believers, thanks to a stay at a friend’s over the holidays, which they bought the whole North Pole package hook line and sinker.
So Drama Queen's tooth finally comes out, with a little help from me, and she says, "I have to put it under my pillow". I go on to explain there is no Tooth Fairy, but I'll still give her two dollars for her tooth. I was very sensitive about the matter.  It didn't go over well. She refuses to believe there is no Tooth Fairy!
This is her response to my explanation. {In front of the cable guy no less, who was laughing at us, wonder why?}
"Mom, I know you don't believe...but I believe in the Tooth Fairy, I really do. I'm just going to put my tooth under my pillow and see what happens. I believe in magic."
Of course you do. Why wouldn't you.  Disney I blame you entirely. "Okay put it under your pillow." At this point I feel like a cruel human being, crushing her teeny tiny believing spirit.
I thought she had collected the tooth, which I placed on a paper towel on the table to dry out, {blech}. I thought she put it directly under her pillow, but no. Gone. Tooth Gate. Maybe I threw it away, but I did double check, maybe she lost it, maybe her little brother ate it, maybe the big huge ants carried it away to their Queen; I don't know. But it is gone, and I did vacuum, so it’s really gone.
She was devastated, naturally. I then had to weave up some immaculate story about how the Tooth Fairy KNOWS the exact date your tooth is coming out; so it doesn't matter if you have it or not. Friends it was good if I say so myself, Fairy kingdom, clipboards, GPS, and magical keys to doors. She wrote the Tooth Fairy a letter, on a small piece of paper because the TF is smallish. Letter said,
"Dear Tooth Fairy,
My tooth came out today. I have to write you a letter because MY MOM LOST IT."
How did I get dragged into this? Where is the accountability here? Then she walks by me and gives me a gentle slap on the knee. The geez Mom, how could you, kind of thing. {I couldn't say anything because I was trying not to laugh.}  Oh, I see you cable guy, I see the smirk on your face and I know what you’re thinking. He's thinking he knows who wears the pants in this family, {not me}. So at least he could give me some free HBO or something right? {I didn't ask} He probably thinks I should shut off the television and have a good sit down with my kids and set them straight. Whatever cable man, you're here because life without Max and Ruby to my son is nothing sort of excruciating, well maybe not, but he does like Max & Ruby. And I like to not watch or pay attention to the news every so often, and I think Anderson Cooper is cute, muted.
"Mom, what does she do with all those teeth?"
I don't know, somethings are to remain a mystery {toss it}. I'm not the sensitive type that keeps stuff like that. In fact I throw away the majority of art work from school too. I am not a pack rat.  I keep a few things. But really baby teeth? Yuck. Sorry I may be the only one, but I don't see the point and it’s gross.  Who started this and why?
So the Tooth Fairy came and left her two dollars. As I'm sitting here writing this it occurred to me, I gave Drama Queen two dollars when the tooth came out, her Grandparents gave her two dollars that day, and then the Tooth Fairy left her two bucks. I think maybe she's brilliant and I've been duped. I'm okay with that.


  1. My plan was also to skip the fake gift givers but then I felt bad that Santa was getting everyone else presents except my daughter. So now only small gadgety things come from Santa. Anything cool is from ME.

    Daughter wrote letters to TF that she found in my dresser drawer with the teeth. Never really addressed that issue. But yeah, every year/holiday I contemplate telling her the truth. A friend's kid told her and my daughter argued that Santa is real. I felt bad letting her look foolish.


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