June 09, 2011

Hey Parents Snap Out of It!

I'm officially going to start a Meme called "Rant of the Week". What do you think? I have at least one per week. Bear with me, tomorrow I'll be back to writing about the most useless, mind numbing information, like say, oven racks or the 105 degree temperature that sucked out my soul yesterday, or my nemesis; the baby daddy {yeah, I wish}. On with it....
Parents! Where... are... you?

Last week Drama Queen had her Kindergarten graduation. It was precious. Her class has 16 adorably cute, surprisingly well-behaved kids. Guess how many kids had family members that came to the graduation? FIVE!!!! Two of five had Moms & Dads, one set of Grandparents, and two Moms. This is a WTF moment. I mean WTF?

I don't understand it. Help me understand it please. I get it, life is hard, life is busy, and we have to work. But {God-willing} your child only graduates from Kindergarten once. I work, I'm a single Mom, but I figured it out. You rearrange your schedule, you're probably going to have to do some things you don't like to get yourself there; you just be there! I'm sure there was a logical explanation, but I doubt 12 Grandmas were in the hospital or 12 bosses couldn't let you go for an hour or someone couldn't cover your shift. Okay maybe the boss excuse is logical, which leads into a whole other rant entirely about the American workplace and how families are NOT important. That totally sucks. I am fortunate to work for a company that knows my kids are my first priority and are very supportive of that; I know I am so lucky, and a rare exception. {Note to self: forward post to boss, shameless brown-nosing, I am not above it} Don't you want to know where I work? Well, I'm not telling because then you'll apply, and you're probably fabulous and smart and over-qualified and they will hire you and I will be out of a job and working at Seven Eleven cleaning out the slushy machine. Or cleaning the public restroom...the horror, I will need an HVAC suit.

These kids looked so sad. I found myself taking pictures of a lot of the other kids, so I could give a copy to their parent who missed it. Initially, I had expected this. My sign up to volunteer in the classroom at the beginning of the year with the hour of free time I have a week, turned into me becoming the official room parent and class liaison by default {I'm still not 100% sure what this is, but my number was published to the entire school; nice}. Could you try parents? Oh hey, maybe answer one of the 25 emails I sent you begging for you to help run a game or two at the party, or even send a box of crackers, or staple some papers together, oh read a book or two to the youths. {Sigh}
DQ reading her book about Kindergarten.
Only pic I could post without other kids
in it because I fear retaliation for calling
out their parents.

Then there are the field trips. I can't make every field trip, but the ones I have, it's been me and one other Mommy. {I get missing the field trips, those are like torture anyway.} Kids on field trips go into "field trip fog" and aimlessly walk into traffic, and jump electric fences and things they normally wouldn't do, which causes mild cardiac arrest. {I could never be a teacher; I'd have terrible blood pressure.} I could even let the field trips slide if you had made it to the graduation.

I've met some of the parents in my daughter's class and I know many of them work. But I know a few of the other Mother's who stay at home. Staying at home is hard too, I used to do it. I understand you have other children to care for. So maybe you make an effort to introduce yourself to other parents and take turns watching each other’s kids so you can be an active participant in your child's life?
Also flooding Twitter this week, was either the thrill or lack thereof of "Kindergarten graduations" and the point of them. Well point or none. It doesn't matter that it's not important to you. What matters is that it is important to them.

I already have massive Mommy guilt because I fear I miss too much due to work. I am not happy about the fact that someone else, I'll refer to them as "daycare", is raising my kid. Oh and a bang up job at that. {I cannot even articulate the disgust I feel when I see more than one parent dropping their kid off at daycare in their pajamas. The parent in pajamas. Huh?} Work is necessary, yes. Obviously we cannot always be there. But family is what is most important; it is what will be left long after work is gone. We have to nurture that. So many kids are just getting pushed to the wayside, and they are screaming for attention. I wonder how many kids aren't even hugged every day. I wish I could take them all home with me, or adopt them. No, I take that back, that's a lot of kids. But the puppy dog eyes eat away at my soul. When I volunteer, those kids are all over me like ants on a melting Popsicle. They are hugging me and holding my hand 6 at a time {without bribery}. I mean, I'm likable, but I'm no Mary Poppins, the kids are obviously desperate for attention.

Just don't let it pass you by. I'm so not a perfect parent, far from it.  And I understand in this economy any job is a precious commodity.  But your child will remember if you were there.  Okay, now I will use my inside voice.


  1. I just read your post, I don't have the slightest idea why, but your about me page was what grabbed my attention about you and your blog. Kids are something I've not yet experienced but it sounds like a whole lot of fun ;) Keep up the writing, it inspires and brings laughter I guess, a big wave and all the best from England.

  2. Ugh. Lost my whole rambly comment. Hope it doesn't turn up twice.

    My kid's school is filled up with supportive parents and family. I'm terrified that my daughter might be the only kid with no one there so I go to everything. I feel guilty also about missing so much work and sometimes she even hangs out in my office, which makes me feel worse. Still, doesn't matter how we do it as long as we do it, right?

    BTW, totally impressed that you are also the room mom.

  3. Rant as you please! I totally get what your saying.

  4. I love this rant!! As a future mommy, I hope that I can be there for my son as much as possible. I hate the thought of him looking into the crowd for me, and Im nowhere to be found...I hope that never happens!! Or at least rarely happens...anyway, keep being a good mom :)

  5. Good rant. I have some thoughts on this topic of working moms, guilt, etc. Rolling around in my head. Someday they'll be formed together into a {hopefully} coherent post! Someday...

  6. You know my mom worked 2 sometime 3 jobs - but I always remember her making it to things somehow... in her uniform, a little late... but she made it there and that meant the world to me and still does. Well done mom.

  7. Apathy, indifference, and a lack of involvement from parents is troubling, I see it often. It drives me nuts. Why bother squirting offspring from your loins if you're going to ignore them? Seems to be a combination of corrupt priorities, distraction and a general not giving a rat's ass.

    One of my daughter's favorite things to do with dad is simply sitting on my lap for 10 minutes and talking about the day. There's nothing greater I can give her than this right now, so important.

    Kudos for having the nads to step up and say what needs to be said. Rant away!

    One of the f

  8. i love your blog will follow you

    hope to hear from you on my post


  9. Let me just say to my enablers, ahem, I mean followers, you're pretty amazing. Luckily, no hate mail on this rant. Only one de-friend on my personal facebook page {may have been one of the parents from Kindergarten class,okay it was}. At least they read it and hopefully some of it will sink in.

    @Fabrizio-Um, thanks, I think? When you do have kids, you better go to the graduation!

    @Christina-Nope, didn't turn up twice. The last paragraph to my post was missing until someone emailed me and told me! I seem to have some sort of Control, Alt, Tab, Delete, Command problem. I actually feel bad for the kids having me for the room Mom as frazzled as I am. Luckily, they are still appeased with Pumpkin Bowling and any snack with Red #40 I throw at them. My time is drawing near when I'm going to have to get my act together.

    @Starthrower- I know you know;) Hang in there lady!

    @Priscilla- If you want to be there, and you try, you'll make it. You're going to be a great Mom! Exciting times ahead for you:)

    @Salt- You shall have NO Mommy guilt, my friend! You are one of the best and most involved Moms I know. I aspire to be a 1/3 as involved as you are with your children, school and church. And pretty safe assumption your kids were in fantastic hands while you were bringing home the bacon. So, if you could just not let B leave that would be great....sniff, sniff.

    @Nessa- Your Mom sounds amazing, and I'd say you're following suit! Lil' Monster is a lucky kiddo, and ps. LOVE the binky idea! Brilliant! Hope it works for you.

    Beard- The lynch mob has not come for me yet...so that could be good, or just mean they are still getting organized, which, doesn't bode well for me. So true that kids value our time and undivided attention over all else. Pigtails seems like a pretty great kid:)

  10. AnonymousJune 10, 2011

    It is very helpful!

  11. Oh, that is so... sucky. :( Good for you for making a huge effort to make it happen, even as a single (working!!) mom. I'm with you - kindergarden graduation is kind of a big deal... and how sad for those littlies to not have a fan or two in the audience cheering them on! :(

  12. Well, I hope this doesn't bring anyone down - but it only gets worse. As the years go by, parents fade form the scene. Anytime you show up and pay attention to the class matters HUGELY. I did an indoor, winter planting experiment with a fifth grade class this year and was sad that only 4 parents (out of 22 kids) followed the class blog on Blogger even though the teachers CONSTANTLY sent home notes asking them to follow and post comments to the class, only two parents showed up to talk about their jobs, few volunteered. I went to a really great field trip, hosted a pizza party, and for other classes heard it's the same all over. the teachers stopped blogging in January - I was the only one leaving comments. : (
    Keep showing up - it means so much to your child, and every other growing Peaceful Warrior in the room. Thanks for the rant - just be glad you are the way you are, it matters! Best! Christina

  13. Rant on!! Being a single, working mom myself, I know it can be hard to fit everything into the day. Big props to you for playing an active role in your kiddo's life!! I don't understand how people can be absentee parents, I honestly think some people like the idea of having children but when it actually happens it isn't what they pictured. Having children is hard sometimes, but it is the best thing I have ever done. I hate that working takes me away from Cubby, but we have to eat, lol. LOVE this post, call them out girl!!

  14. Absolutely....kids feel important or not, based on whether you are there.

    Know how I know?

    My mom never came to anything of mine.

    She was too busy.


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