June 03, 2011

Uh, What Was I Saying?

I really shouldn’t be blogging right now.  Okay, I’m 89.7% certain of that.  Eh, rebel type.  Could I have posted something from my drafts?  Yes.  But then my post would’ve just sucked instead of being mildly mediocre.  I was already behind on pretty much everything last week and then we had to go and have a holiday. 

{Let me just say for the record so Jesus doesn’t put me on the naughty list, how THANKFUL I am to all the servicemen, women and their families and for what they sacrifice so I can do stupid things like blog, and have freedom and stuff.}  Shout out and {hug} Jen and family.

So my To-do list snowballed out of control this week.  When I say snowball, imagine my little to-do list growing gigantically into a large crumbly, paper ball and rolling me over crushing my fragile and petite frame; then turning around and re-rolling over me.  That would about sum it up.  I realized that perhaps I may have taken on too much the last week or so when I dozed off in downward dog.  Yeah.  Awesome.  So, I lost a day of productivity this week, well as productive as I get which can be easily described as, differentiating head from ass.  So I’m more behind, just sayin’.  What day is it?  Yeah!  That’s right people it’s Friday!  How?  What?  Time warp?  How did I get so far behind?  This is actually a recurring conversation/question that is stuck on the rinse and repeat cycle in my brain. 

It really irritates me when I notice I have become something that I do not really care for in other people.  For example, tardiness, lateness, I hate being late, like OCD crazy hate it.  Guess what?  Guess who always strolls into the party fashionably late?  Yup, you got it…me.  So when did this happen?  My best guess is the exact moment I rolled out of the hospital with newborn baby Drama Queen in arms.  It makes no difference how prepared I am with pre-packing, laying things out, writing notes, or allowing extra time; something WILL happen and I WILL be late {or often there in the nick of time}.  If you’re expecting me, you will inevitably receive a text message relaying something along the lines of, “be there in 10”, “running late (smiley face)”, “sorry (frowny face)”, “save me a seat”, or, if I’m really ticked off about it you’ll get, “Just left, LATE (bold all caps)”.  I think right now, I still get the "awww, it's okay, your a single Mom" pass; don't know how long this will last.

It’s not like I’m blogging or taking a bubble bath or anything {a wah? I can’t even remember….}.  More than likely my offspring have taken off their 20 layers of winter gear, just ‘cuz, and I have to stuff them back in…or someone can’t find their blanket…or one of them may or may not have eaten a leaf off one of the household plants and I may have had to contact a botanist and poison control…or the car seat belt is mangled {safety first}…or they have decided to hone their Olympic-type running skills and practice the 50 yard dash when they should be getting INTO the car.  So yeah, note to self, if you need me there at 7:30 better off telling me 7:15, OH or 7:00, then I’d be early, and that would make me happy, until I get mad at you for being late.  Hypocrite, yes, yes I am.

I can pretty much always blame the kids.  It’s not like I’m putting on more makeup or brushing my hair.  This is a true fact.  Many a day nary a brush has made it its way through my mane, and no one is the wiser. {What’s that?  You are the wiser and are shaking your head at my disheveled appearance, probably laughing at my Tom Selleck stache too, thanks “friends”, you’re so pretty}  Well I think the non-brushing gives my hair a more full-bodied tousled look.  I can’t be bothered with such things.

Okay, I seriously had a lot more to say about my time management, which segways into my blog management skills.  As in, I have none.  See how this post has run wildly out of control?  I didn’t even get to talk about the multi-disciplinary team meeting, the end of the school year activities, the hours I’ve spent wasted whispering sweet nothings to Blue Cross Almighty over the phone, the therapy re-arrangement arrangements, {speeding ticket} and work.  Oh work, busy time, naturally I had oodles of time to spend on the 3-9 pages of brainstorming ideas I was told asked nicely to do.  In my delirium I may have jotted down something about whittling, gypsies and some sort of company theme song/jingle, can’t recall.  But it probably doesn’t bode well for me, and I very well may be fired by the time this post is published.  When you tell me to think outside of the box, I’m going to go there, I was born there. 

You’ll all know I’m unemployed should you see Google Ads littered over the blog.  Scary thought, I have no idea what Google would market from my key words.  You can’t bottle crazy.  More than likely, Liquor Barn, or Single+Inappropriate+Men=sleazy dating site, RAID, and some, “Hey Moms, get back to school” type ad.   

Hopefully I will recover from the exhaustion this weekend.  Even a semi-recovery would be nice. 

Enjoy yours all!



  1. You're cracking me up. I'm your worst nightmare -- terribly late often. That's what the men in my life are for (first my dad and now my husband) -- trying to get me places on time. It's a tough job :)

  2. AnonymousJune 06, 2011

    Hey - I am definitely delighted to find this. great job!

  3. I'm a late person too. We could show up at the party late with unbrushed hair and moustaches together. That actually sounds fun. I have no life.

  4. If Liquor Barn starts running lots of ads on your blog, then at least you will know your audience. You could put out your own line of 40 Proof Parent Medicine. Brew it up in the bathtub and ship it in plain brown wrappers. Put me down for a monthly subscription.

  5. Alright...none of you sweet people have an email I can respond to...smart, very smart.

    @Salt: They do a good job of it, seems like you always beat me to MOPS:)

    @Thanks for stopping by Anonymous:) {yeah, they won't be back}

    @Christina: I'm in. Note, I am a hot mess...bring the meat. Excellent post on lateness on your blog:)

    Daddy#1: Hm, extra income. Three things...
    A) How many Daddies are there?
    B)I am surprised I even HAVE an audience.
    C)I suspect those that do read this already have some sort of drinking problem.

  6. I hope you can find some time to rest and do something relaxing for yourself. I do not like people being late either. However, when we become moms and have so much to do, it can get hard at times to always be on time. have a good night my friend!

    Mama Hen


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