August 26, 2011


Have I told you all that I adore old people? Probably because I act 65, but say things like, "holla, peeps, word, fo-shiz", or, maybe not. I'm pretty un-cool, sorry to break this to you. {Hush, your laughter is breaking my concentration.}

The other night I met up with some girlfriends and they were saying how cute I looked, seriously, I'm not joking or making this up. I was glowing apparently, in a non-pregnant glowing way of course. And perhaps the words, "teachery" were used to describe my cute cardigan-wearing self. Look, I'll take it, I can pretty much turn anything into a compliment, it's a gift really. Apparently it is a hard thing to make teachery look good. I got this. Let's just note, for the record, that I do NOT shop at CJ Banks, or own any sweaters with schoolhouses, buses, apples or ABC on them. Why teachers? Why?

So I was being all teachery, and teaching a class the other day...of one. I don't mind, I like to chat, so we were cool yo. Me and Judy. Judy was older. I, being a lady, did not ask her age, that's just wrong on so many levels, besides she would've knocked me out. You just don't mess with someone named, Judy, they are bound to be scrappy. Let's just say, she had been married for 51 years!

I connected with her right away, she was spunky and cute, in a very non-teachery way. She was telling me how she had just finished painting that day, polka dots, which she hated and changed to stripes. Love it.

Conversation flowed like we'd known each other for years. Then she said this, "Oh, honey, you just wait until you get married and have kids". Okay, so my interpretation of that was, "damn girl, you are a smokin' hot chick, why are you NOT married with a gaggle of cute kids and doting husband?" This friends, is one of life's great mysteries, can't be solved in a mere two hours. I'm just the messenger relaying the crazy in my brain, I can't explain it otherwise. So I politely told her, been there, done that, divorced. {Also did she have any single sons? Maybe I said that, it's a whirlwind}.

She just shook her head at me, not like a disappointed can't hold your marriage together shake, but what a moron that ex-husband of yours is. Well, maybe she said that, whirlwind. So she explained how she'd known her hubs since 7th grade, and how marriage is hard, and only gets harder the older you get. She told me how they had just celebrated their 51st Anniversary, nothing outrageous, just a really good brunch and window shopping, and some gift buying, just enjoying each other’s company. So I had to ask, what is the secret to a long, happy marriage, here's what she said....

 There is no secret, no magic key or thing you can do to make it everlasting. It is a journey, with someone that should be your best friend and fills you with happiness. If you are looking ahead, in the same direction, towards a common goal, you can walk on the same road in the same direction forever. Sometimes you hold hands while you're walking, sometimes you need space in-between. But if you are looking in opposite directions, you will both be on different roads, and it's pretty hard to communicate when you’re going in opposite directions.
This is probably an ariel view of the road of life, better
stick together!
Yeah, I know, how wise is she? I asked Judy if she would adopt me, and this is what she said, "Cari, as cute as you are, more kids in the house would put a damper on my sex life!"
Pretty much love that lady.


  1. Wow! What an incredibly wise woman! Sounds like I could learn a lot from Judy!

  2. I remember when I used to think, not long ago, that a "sex Life" ended somewhere around 60!! I'm not sure why I thought this. Maybe all the viagra commercials led me to believe it was all over with out ol blue.
    Then I found out about my 65 yr old friend's 80 yr old mom and her boyfriend!! Wow! So much to look forward to yet! It's a lucky thing when you and your partner choose to go down the same road. It all comes down to that doesn't it? It seems so rare with so many forks in the road. Great post Cari.

  3. That Judy is smart - I love the photo you chose of the road of life - so true!
    Erin -

  4. that is pure gold right there.

    I'm putting that on my profile as we speak!! LOL

    really, I am.

  5. Pretty sure I wanna be Judy when I grow up!

    Starthrower, thank goodness! Otherwise, really, I might as well pack it in and just wear sweatpants and donuts for the remainder of my time on Earth.

    Erin, Judy rocks. Think I fell off the cliff on one of those twisty roads once. :) Or maybe pushed????

    Kristin, pretty sure she is an angel.

    Shelley, DO IT! Copy and Paste that puppy in and let me know how it goes.

  6. Judy's a wise and frisky-fine woman. Thanks for sharing her story. Nothing like seeing a multi-decade married couple holding hands, I want that.

    FYI, Starthrower, TMI. :-)

  7. Judy reminds me of Kahlil Gibran. If memory serves me right, I think I read something about couples looking in the same direction from one of his books. That's the problem with me- I'd much rather have the man look at ME!

    I wish Judy would adopt me too. At least, I hope I turn out to be like her in the future. Well, with her friskiness, I think I will pretty much be like her :)

  8. Judy is a keeper... hold tight to that smart lady - ask her to coffee.

  9. Pretty sure you should make Judy your BFF. Wise woman. Makes up for the crackpot you're friends with and I'm not naming no names but her name starts with a C and it's not Cari.

    The reality of Judy's words makes me weepy and I hope to one day be Judy. It may be too late for me to have a 51st anni with anyone but I'm gonna pretend like I'm her anyway. Bookmarking this so I remember what to say....Wonderful post, Cari. I loved this.

  10. I love it. What a fun person to chat with. I hope I meet a Judy today.

  11. So yeah, she's a total keeper, and MAYBE when she told me that I was tearing up, MAYBE, okay I totally was. I wish I could retell it in her exact words, I feel I didn't do her justice. Certainly didn't with my opening.

    I am certain, without a doubt, that we all need friends whose names start with "C". I have a strong feeling Judy does, and very well may be a crack pot herself. The crazy people are always the ones who strike us with their brilliance when we least expect it. Take me for example!

    Thanks for the comments everyone, I feel lucky to have met her, and happy I could pass it on.

  12. love everything about this post! such wisdom. I'll keep that in my pocket!


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