August 11, 2011

Self-Discovery: My On-Going Addiction

While writing my girl's night out post, I had a realization. I am an addict. I have a subconscious addiction to black cardigans. Most often times, any picture of me also includes a black cardigan. Could be worse, could be Hawaiian shirts. My tally, 13, thirteen cardigans of black. In my defense, I am always cold, always! Even on a 90 degree day, I have a sweater in hand if I am going somewhere air-conditioned. And I routinely keep a stash at work too. Can I eat soup on a 90 degree day? Yes I can, hot coffee too.  I know!  I'm telling you, they need to do some kind of study on my abnormality(s).
Perhaps I'm part reptile? I should probably retire in Arizona or something, where I can just lay on a rock so I don't freeze up.  Maybe when I hit menopause, the hot flashes will be a welcomed change, and even things out.  Or, knowing my luck, I'll be forever a hot sweaty mess {not to be confused with the hot mess I already am}, and wearing tube tops and daisy dukes at 60. 

Any takers on my black cardigan collection?  No?  Maybe I'll sell it on Ebay.

Back to post at hand. Who has 13 black cardigans? Me, that's who! So here's my bizarre reasoning.

-One has beads

-But not the same beads

-That one has ruffles

-Long

-Short

-3/4 sleeve

You get the dull picture here. I blatantly blame Ann Taylor, Inc. for starting my addiction. Although my single mom status most often times leaves me getting my fix  at Target these days. And should I see a cardigan sale, I hear no voice of reason; I'm a junky plain and simple.

Is there some kind of 12 step program for this? I obviously need an intervention. So I jotted down a few options for my recovery, tell me what you think.

1. Admit you have a problem. Check.

2. Maybe hypno-therapy? That might subconsciously make black cardigans look purple and yellow polka-dotted. But then would I have a purple and yellow polka-dot cardigan obsession? The world may never know.

3. Procure some sort of heat lamp for work, but is that a fire hazard?  More than likely.

4. Don't live in a state with frigid temperatures.

5. Get rip-roaring drunk, invite over the neighbor kids and have a cardigan bonfire...and smores. Do the ugly cry and get over it. Tough love.

6. Act my age and not 60, which means weaning myself off the pearls too.

7. Write a nasty letter to Ann Taylor explaining my disapproval of the seasonal black cardigan revamp every few months, or they will lose me as a customer! That'll turn them around in a jiffy. I don't need your cute, classy, over-priced sweaters anyway Ann Taylor, crack cardigan peddlers.

{I am so sorry Ann Taylor, I'm a junky and didn't mean that, I'll see you next week, I will re-word my letter and send to Victoria's Secret regarding their darn Semi-Annual sale.}

8. I could just quit my job and stay snuggled up under my comforter. On second thought, no. Starvation and such. No good.

9. I'm tired, and cold, and these are ridiculous, so I'm stopping here. Yeah, I thought you'd be okay with that. 

{Just dealing with the black sweaters at the moment, baby steps, you don't even want to know how large my various neutral sweater collection is.}

Do you have a silly addiction?  Now is the time to come clean, let's hear it.

12 comments:

  1. Hahaha @your label "this is what you should get me for Christmas".

    Incidentally, I'm always cold too. In fact, I have my heater on in my office right now. If you want I can send you a pic. Someone came in the other day and said, "OMG is it supposed to be this hot in here??" and I was like, "Dude. Stop hittin on me. That's not cool."

    Anyway, I think we'll burn your black cardigans along with my entire wardrobe. Everything I have is either black or white. At times it looks as though I have a closet full of Steak N Shake uniforms.

    And one more thing. I totally don't see anything wrong with a 60 year olds sporting daisy dukes and tube tops. That's what I was planning on wearing when I throw rocks at kids from my porch.

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  2. i have no problem with your sweater collection. we are cut from the same cloth my friend. I am ALWAYS cold too! This post sounds really close to a description of me.

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  3. That's me, but with turtlenecks. I should have been a professor.

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  4. Well, I guess there could be worse things you're addicted to. Like meth or bacon. Plus black cardigans are very underrated.

    Opposite here, I'm always hot. Would walk around in my skivvies on Casual Fridays at work if it passed the dress code.

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  5. Well to the ladies, the cold ladies, good to know I'm not the only freeze baby. I've been thinking about it, and I attribute our 1% body fat to the permanent coldness factor.

    If I say it on my blog...it's true.

    I also think if I start wearing daisy dukes and tube tops at 60, it might hurt my chances of becoming a high fashion model when I grow up.

    Beard, I love meth and bacon too! I'm screwed. Bury me in my cardigan.

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  6. You've got me cracking up again, Cari! I've got just one black cardigan, and I can't imagine having more than that :)

    What I'm addicted to? It's not a what, but a WHO! ;)

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  7. Pepper! I know you prefer capes and spandex. SPILL! You know you want to email me and tell me all about it.

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  8. HI! I'm blog-hopping from Pepperific.

    I like that you have 10 cardigans with the same color. I don't blame you. It's such a classic staple on one's outfit :)

    I have a dozen cardigans with various colors making the rainbow jealous :) But I love all of them because they have their own "attitude" when worn.

    Have a nice day and I hope to be back here very soon.

    God Bless.
    Ria C

    It's My Party
    Home is Where the Heart Is
    Red Lips and Pinky Toes
    Handmade with LOVE

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  9. I like to think of addictions in relative terms. Some call it rationalizing. Whatever.

    I'm a craft junkie. I need inventory. Must have inventory. I choose not to smoke crack so that I can lead a healthier lifestyle of crafting. See? Now you try.

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  10. The Pepperrific LifeAugust 14, 2011

    Hahaha! Oh, my love affair with spandex... the fabric of the gods!

    Nah, email is boring... I'll send you a video! :)

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  11. Ria, thanks for stopping by!

    Kara, When can I come over hmmm? I'll bring the glitter. Maybe if I learn to sew, it would really be a win, win. Yes, true, crafts keep us off the streets.

    Pepper, Haha, at first I was mildly concerned about that video comment. But thinking about it, I totally get it...I'm slow, or in a drunken stuper or something. I might just wander over to You Tube and get a fix:)

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