September 07, 2011

Sorry Kid, You're Stuck With Me

So I suppose I should do a first day of school post; now that I've sobered up and stopped crying celebrating.  The day actually went very well, all things considered.  This post is mostly dedicated to the Drama Queen and all her 1st grade glory, and how that poor kid has me for a Mother.  The boy is still in Autism Day Treatment, but will also begin INCLUSION into regular pre-school next week, posts to follow.  Scary, but awesome!

This is what I get when I ask for a
first grade pose.
Drama Queen has transitioned into first grade.  FIRST GRADE I SAID!   I don't know how old this makes me, but wahhh?  Seemed like this was years off, but I digress.  She was super excited to see her friends again, and go to school for an entire day.  You see she had to do half day Kindergarten last year, which explains the break-down she had 15 minutes before dismissal because she was tired.  Her words, "Mom, it was the longest day ever.  It was so long I can't remember what we did."  Yes, I know that feeling kid.  If you look closely you'll see that the DQ toiled and labored making a coordinating necklace and bracelet to match her dress for the first day.  They actually turned out pretty cute.  Now why when she makes me jewelry can it not be that cute?  Right.  No worries, I wear the macaroni necklaces with pride.

The day went great, she loves school and she loves her after school program.  Life is good.  My brain, not so good.  Naturally you had to have known by now this post was going to turn and be all about me, you've been reading long enough to realize my narcissistic tendencies.  I almost single handedly tarnished the first day of school for her.  No not with my crying and carrying on, and I wasn't hung-over or anything.  I almost made her late, and not like a few minutes, we are talking half an hour here! 

Might also add we only live 3/4 of a mile from school and we weren't walking.  We do get busing because we live in death valley, no sidewalks for miles and crazy teenagers that will run you over in a second while they are texting their BFF on their way to high school also a few blocks away.  I will admit I've almost hit a jogger or seven with my car.  It's very forest-like and naturey around here, can't see anything for the jungle-ish over-growth, {note the pictures, I'm not kidding}.  Someone should totally take care of that.  I will get my Dad on that pronto, he's falling behind.  That is not a lazy remark.  Should I really be handling garden shears, or some kind of chainsaw type thing?  I thought not.  Might have to hire a cute lawn-boy, hmmm.

So we get up and dressed for first day of school, excitement is in the air, I made chocolate chip pancakes {jokes on your first grade teacher, she'll be bouncing off the walls for hours, insert maniacal laugh}.  Yes, of course I'll volunteer for your first field trip...darn it.  Must have smelt the pancake breath.  So we are packing up and I'm thinking I am M.O.M of the year because we are way ahead of schedule and I haven't really had to use my Mom voice much, or say, "NOW" at all.  So it's roughly 7:41 a.m., school starts at 8:15 a.m.  So here's a peek into my so-called brain at approximately 7:41:

I'm awesome; this is going to be a great day!  8:15 is perfect.  Hmmm, wonder why I'm thinking 8:15?  Did I ever get anything in the mail that said school started at 8:15?  {Remember we did half day p.m last year}  Wait; was it the other school I was looking into that started at 8:15?  I never actually checked the website.  Geez, why don't these schools send you something in the mail so you know what's going on, I should complain to the PTO.  Oh geez, NO, then they'll want me to volunteer and staple a couple-a-thousand papers or lick a trillion envelopes or work in the library or sell concessions...I'll let it go. 

I am now having a slight panic attack, thinking I'm going to scar my daughter for life, so I pull up the school website.  Yep, you guessed it, 7:45!!!  *Cursing*  I am NOT awesome.  In fact, questioning my ability to competently mother any living creature at this point.

I can only describe what happened next as chaos, and me grabbing lunches, backpacks and rain boots for the boy because it's just easier, and running for the door.  We luckily arrived only a minute or two after the bell rang.  Last kid to arrive, but we weren't late!  I think first grade teacher thinks I'm barely holding it together as I couldn't give her a bus number either.  But listen first grade teacher, I've got this under control, she doesn't ride the bus home anyway.  Don't let this panicked look frighten you first grade teacher, I'm nice.  And look at my crazy people have cute kids like this?
Note: No time for before school pics,
these were taken after school.  Because
we were hustling.
Drama Queen and I are going to have to charm first grade teacher a bit.  I might have to make her something.  The boy also managed to erase her entire message on the dry erase board and shake the hamster cage while I was occupied with backpack unloading.  I should totally watch my kid right?  Mkay.  Cookies?  Might have to pull out the big guns and do some parent volunteer time here.

P.S. I am the only one volunteering to go on the field trip in two weeks.  I say, get it out of the way and go on the field trip with the least amount of clothing to be responsible for, i.e., snow pants, hats, mittens, scarves.  Not my first rodeo people.  I might not remember what time my kid's school starts, but I'm scary smart...sometimes.

{And now for one hour a week, I will be able to go to the grocery store ALONE, or totally blog or talk on the phone or me!  Or work, yeah, I'll probably be me!}


  1. I LOVE IT! Thank you for making me laugh, because honestly, our first day was similar... we weren't late, but I couldn't remember what time school started... and he went there LAST year! LOVE motherhood! :)

  2. Love ya Shelly! Well, you have more chicklets and football to juggle than I.

    But thank you, thank you Jesus, I was not the only one!

  3. This is me every day so I think you're still Mom of the Year. Daughter started 2nd grade this year and I still don't know when school starts. I just take her the same time every day and no one has ever said she's been late.

    By the way, giving you the Liebster Award and you have to take it. One of the hazards of being friends with bloggers.

  4. I simply adore Drama Queen's dress! Lovely! She is cuteness defined.

    You had me laughing once again with your hilarious narrative.

    Don't forget your cardigan when you go on that field trip :)

  5. I was seriously laughing so hard I had tears, the whole 7:41 thought process.....priceless. I think you are still Mom of the year, I'm thinking I wouldnt have even thought to check the website. You are super smarties, want to come over in say 6 years and hold my hand when Lala and I have first day of school chaos? *puppy dog eyes* I totally wouldn't turn down some chocolate chip pancakes either, yum! She'll probably be lucky if I remember to pack a lunch, haha kidding. I'm glad first day went off fairly easily, always nice when you don't have to use Mom voice too much.

    Oh goodness girl DQ is absolutely beautiful!! I lobe her dress, and that first pose, hehe, awesome sauce. :-D

    Thank you for starting my day with a laugh, you're the best!!

  6. LMAO commenting from my IFail is never without some type of auto-correct idiocy. I meant I love her dress. Hope you are having a great weekend!

  7. @Christina-Consistency is the key, well done. My problem is we're early or late, no middle ground. You know my feeling on these awards...and I'm thinking that's German and I'm gonna have to google it. It could translate the most craptastic award, in which case, you'd be correct. Or maybe it means I'm pretty? That's good too.

    @Pepper- I might forget what time school starts, but never the cardigan! Wish they made that dress in my size.

    Angel- I'll walk you through it..warning, time is going to fly by! I think your biggest problem will b e getting LaLa out of bed! Liked lobe better, I'm going to integrate lobe into my regular vocabulary.

  8. what a morning! I love it! Oh and, that's one cute kid. :)

  9. Oh man I can imagine the panic and chaos that happened after that time check! Cookies will mend the fence.


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