October 03, 2011

A Departure and Confession

As a writer, when you are inspired to write; you do so. This post is going to be a bit of a departure from my usual blathering on about sweaters and such, but I feel I must say it. God is always trying to tell us something, usually, we don't listen. So then he tries to tell us again, and again, and again, until you're knee deep in you know what and regret.  Should've listened right?

Last week I was reading Kristin’s post over at The Only Parent Chronicles, and besides tearing up, and praying for her family {could you pray too}, I had a bit of a light bulb moment. Kristin mentioned in the post how she tries to stay secular in her blog posts, but that God is such a big part of her; I totally identified with that. I thought, hmmm, I talk about God here and there, but do my readers really know how much of a bible banging Jesus freak I am? And I know what you are thinking and God made me like this, and he loves me, so there. So I thought to myself, I should blog about this.

Take two; I get an e-mail from my friend A.J. inviting me to hear her give testimony to her walk in faith at her church next weekend. How awesome is that? Naturally I won't miss it; A.J. is one of my favorite people in the entire world. That is walking in faith, which takes guts, that is putting it out there for the world to see. Just by telling a story, not with judgment, or pushing or preaching, just obedience. I can already tell you that it will be amazing and uplifting; A.J. is one of those people.

There are those people who walk amongst us on this Earth and there is something about them that is different. Something about them almost glows, you are drawn to them. There is comfort in their very presence and it soothes your soul and their words inspire action. They bask in God's glory and walk in true obedience to him; warriors not matter the hurdle. A.J. is one of those people. I am lucky to say I know and am friends with a few other people {coincidentally bloggers, imagine that} like that:

Shelly, you just can't get enough of her; you want to be around her all.the.time. She goes for it with grace and unwavering optimism.

Mela, her and her husband have an amazing story about walking in obedience, and sharing God's love.

Starthrower, a fellow Side Effects of Single Parenting tribe mate, though I've never met her, after reading her blog these last few months, I can tell; I'm perceptive in special people don't you know!
I just think to myself, how blessed am I to know these people!

I think I've always walked in faith, believed. But not until my second miscarriage did I say, "okay God, there is nothing I can do here, I tried, I'm done, lead me". The important part about that is not just that I said it; it's that I believed it. Not long after I had my beautiful daughter, and then a son. Why do we have to make something that is so easy, so hard?

Walking in obedience to God's will might be one of the biggest challenges you will ever face. It's not just being obedient to his commandments, or the bible, but means listening to what he wants for you. The highest level of trust is required here. It's saying I am willing to give up all my desires for Jesus. What I am capable of is small, what he is capable of moves mountains. I want mountain moving faith.

I'm not here to judge your beliefs, condemn or condescend; nor am I in any way perfect. Every time hurt chips away at my heart, I let it fill up with God's love. People do miraculous things and devastating things compelled by their beliefs. I have one life. One life to figure it out for myself, and pass it along to those willing to listen.

For me my faith is almost tangible. I feel it coursing through my veins and in my bones. I want the same for you. Pray. Pray from your heart because he is listening. Let go, stop pushing God away and working against him and let all the wonder he has in store for you unfold.

I wanted to include some music in this post, because not only is Mela one of those amazing people, but she is also an amazing muscian.  I was going to include the song, I Pray, written and sang by that wonderful lady, Mela. And so it seemed decided...until. I was taking a walk writing this post in my head, listening to my IPod and,By My Side, by Tenth Avenue North, came on three out of six songs in the shuffle. So in obedience, I'm listening and here you go.   Besides that song is my mantra of faith, I listen to it every day until I believe the words.

God loves you. You are his child. There is nothing you could ever do to change that or make him stop loving you. Every day is a new opportunity for a new beginning. Doing what you are called to do in this lifetime doesn't mean you have to figure anything out; it just means letting God guide you.

*You can sneak a peek at Mela's cd on her website, here, trust me, it's worth it.


  1. Very inspirational and uplifting, Cari. Never be afraid to be you. You did a great job.

  2. When you mentioned this post at our Bonfire I was very excited! Little did I know you'd think of me! Huh! Thank you. k,this is making me emotional, because you've connected me to some feelings I've had as well about sharing my walk on the blog. Thanks for sharing the source of your strength. I remember Shelly's beautiful pics of your family and the verse she chose:) I'll check into Mela's.

  3. This is lovely. I have kept my faith out out of my blog more than I should. It wasn't intentional at first - just used the blog as a scrapbook. But as it grew to be more - I think I was nervous about putting it out there. Not wanting to offend someone or change their opinion of me. Sad - but I am working on it. Keep it coming Cari.

  4. Amen to that! What a beautiful post. Listening to the song brought tears to my eyes. I love that song and sing the words but hadn't really taken the time to *listen* to it until now. Thank you for giving me a moment to pay attention and thank you for sharing your heart.


  5. So beautiful, it didn't even seem you needed to be brave to write it. Does that make sense? Thanks for the inspiring words.

  6. You are an inspiration in everything you write. Today's blog is no exception. I've known you your whole life and yet every time I read your words I see something new and exciting in them. You are blessed. Here's my favorite quote to date- may I share it?

    "Doing what you are called to do in this lifetime doesn't mean you have to figure anything out; it just means letting God guide you."

  7. Thanks everyone!

    @Christina- whew it's hard being multi-faceted, thanks for always supporting me!

    @Star- Your words take my breath away. Oh, yeah, surprise! So glad I've gotten to know you via the blogosphere, you have so much to share and teach this world.

    @Nessa- I've read your posts where you talk about God. But I get where you're coming from, it does seem that we are trying to please everyone else...but who are we blogging for?

    Angela- Thank you! Funny how sometimes when we slow down and listen how we grow. I need to slow down more, there is so much out there God wants me to see; I don't want to be too busy and let it pass me by. {And are you laughing? I'm kinda laughing...haha, slow down, what's that?}

    @Gretchen- I don't think I had to be brave, I just wrote what I believed and hit publish. I have to say the inspiration from those other wonderful ladies sure did help!

    @Suzi- Not sure those are my words? Does that make sense? I think I had some help from the big guy upstairs. Thank you for being in my life and an inspiration, look at all you're accomplishing! So proud of you and love you!

  8. IT IS so hard.

    I know, even Ree, the Pioneer Woman, does not overtly express her faith..she hints at it.

    We have been taught to not alienate, to not corner ourselves into a niche..

    to be open so that all can read us, and return, to hear, read the message between the lines.

    That's how the world is....they compartmentalize.

  9. Amen! Praise God for His 24/7 love. It would be impossible to survive without it.

    Have a great week Cari :-)


  10. Oh wow, Cari - thank you SO much for including me here! I appreciate the encouragement. You are amazing & I smile each time I think of you and your sweet kiddos.

    This kind of trust is hard & walking in obedience is a struggle on days when your head, the world and everything else is saying "go this way," "do this," "don't do that." I know. I've been there. But, what a blessing to be in step with God - even if I trip and stumble, turn away and grumble more often than I'd care to admit.

    Saying NO to some good things to say YES to God and GREAT things is way better.

    You are a blessing. Thanks for sharing your heart here and using your gifts in MIGHTY ways, seen and unseen.

  11. Thanks for being open about your faith!

    There's a verse that talks about if we are ashamed of Christ and sharing our faith, He will be ashamed of us when we come to the throne of God. That's a humbling thought.

    I personally struggle with the listening thing and when to know when something is following God's plan. Things that start off seeming to be following what He wants sometimes turn out to be a sour path in the end. So I'm still trying to figure out what is my will vs. what is God's will.

    I wish you could ask God a question and he'd answer it directly. The indirect, sort of guessing what He wants thing is a killer.

    Unfortunately, my faith has stretched thin these past couple years, and I'm unsure how to shore it back up.


  12. @Empress-So very true, we have to figure out how to find our voice, but remain somewhat generic or PC, for lack of better terminology.

    @Ron- Back atcha!

    @Mela- Thanks for being you, and such a blessing to so many! Can't wait to see what God has in store for you!

    @Beard- We all have those moments when it seems like faith is not as strong as we'd like it to be. You'll get there, my friend.


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