So despite all my wishing, Monday is here again. Today I feel like I have blog-je vu. I started typing a post for today that I swear I've written before...early Alzheimer's, fatigue or the brilliance of my beautiful mind maybe? Good thing I have this blog as a record of all the stellar literature that is Cari! After searching two pages, I decided to chuck the idea, as it was depressing and I was thinking, "Wow, I really wrote that?” No worries friends, this week I will be posting on grocery carts and skanky Moms, so I may have had a brief light bulb moment, but nothing’s going to change around here. Sorry. Besides, the posts are already scheduled, and I haven't the time to do some kind of Oprah-esque blog transformation, perhaps making this blog readable and/or enjoyable.
So for your Monday enjoyment, if you're still reading, that is; I've decided to compile a short list of things I've never done. In the process a startling revelation was revealed that I am also a prude. So maybe skanky Mom isn't so skanky and it's just me? No. Prudey McPrude or not, she's skanky. Alright here you go friends, happy Monday!
Things I've never done:
-Flashed or mooned anyone. Lucky them. Public service, really.
-Never been to jail. I'd die there, just sayin'.
-Never actually met anyone raised by a pack of wolves or that lived in a barn. Mom, you've got some 'splaining to do.
-Never hula danced, belly danced or been within a 100 foot radius of a stripper pole. It's more a sanitary issue for me really; do you think they disinfect those?
-I've never had a robot. Face it they are smarter than me.
-I've never seen or read Twilight. Glittery-type vampires don't appeal to me.
-I've never been fishing. No desire here.
-Never worn a stiletto, I'd break an ankle.
-Never given all the money in my wallet to a homeless person. I should do that; you should too, just once.
-Never cooked live lobsters, kind of freaky.
-Never been on a tugboat, again, I could live the rest of my life without crossing this off the list.
So there you have it. Riveting. And I've told you tons about myself without actually telling you anything at all. Have a great Monday!
Feel free to share something totally random that you've never done, I'm sure you can do better than me.