November 14, 2011

Blog-je vu and I'm Probably A Prude

So despite all my wishing, Monday is here again. Today I feel like I have blog-je vu. I started typing a post for today that I swear I've written before...early Alzheimer's, fatigue or the brilliance of my beautiful mind maybe? Good thing I have this blog as a record of all the stellar literature that is Cari! After searching two pages, I decided to chuck the idea, as it was depressing and I was thinking, "Wow, I really wrote that?” No worries friends, this week I will be posting on grocery carts and skanky Moms, so I may have had a brief light bulb moment, but nothing’s going to change around here. Sorry.  Besides, the posts are already scheduled, and I haven't the time to do some kind of Oprah-esque blog transformation, perhaps making this blog readable and/or enjoyable.

So for your Monday enjoyment, if you're still reading, that is; I've decided to compile a short list of things I've never done. In the process a startling revelation was revealed that I am also a prude. So maybe skanky Mom isn't so skanky and it's just me? No. Prudey McPrude or not, she's skanky. Alright here you go friends, happy Monday!

Things I've never done:

-Flashed or mooned anyone. Lucky them. Public service, really.

-Never been to jail. I'd die there, just sayin'.

-Never actually met anyone raised by a pack of wolves or that lived in a barn. Mom, you've got some 'splaining to do.

-Never hula danced, belly danced or been within a 100 foot radius of a stripper pole. It's more a sanitary issue for me really; do you think they disinfect those?

-I've never had a robot. Face it they are smarter than me.

-I've never seen or read Twilight. Glittery-type vampires don't appeal to me.

-I've never been fishing. No desire here.

-Never worn a stiletto, I'd break an ankle.

-Never given all the money in my wallet to a homeless person. I should do that; you should too, just once.

-Never cooked live lobsters, kind of freaky.

-Never been on a tugboat, again, I could live the rest of my life without crossing this off the list.

So there you have it. Riveting. And I've told you tons about myself without actually telling you anything at all.  Have a great Monday!
Feel free to share something totally random that you've never done, I'm sure you can do better than me.

20 comments:

  1. I have never been drunk, high (illegally), or had a cigarette. Not because I think all of them are always wrong, but because they hold no interest to me.

    I have been to London but not New York City... go fig.

    Oh, that's all I can think of.

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  2. Wow! That is impressive girl. I have not been drunk this week. Oh, just kidding, I rarely drink, but I've been drunk many a time.

    I've been to NYC, but not London. You should go, I loved it and want to go back again. I would like to go to London to though.

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  3. Wow! I never done those things either. Except for fishing. I think I went with my dad a couple times but I've never taken myself fishing. I've never done a lot of things but I can't remember what they are! What's this about a skanky mom? Ooo the anticipation.

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  4. We're clearly twins - I've never done any of those things either (and have no desire to do them!). I have been to both London (many, many times) and NYC (once) and love both. Also, if I started a list of things I've never done I think I'd just depress myself...

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  5. @Star- That's right skanky moms of the single variety. I'm probably going to get in trouble for that one.

    @Magic- We probably are twins, which gives me an even better excuse to come to France. Oui?! Also, if you think of totally ridiculous things, like stripper poles, it doesn't make it so depressing. Trust me.

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  6. From one Prudey McPrude to another! I, too, have never done those things (except fishing). And, I have never been drunk and never smoked a cigarette. Squeaky clean, I'm telling ya. Squeaky. And a tad prudey. But, that's okay!

    -Angela

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  7. Glad I'm not the only one not on the Twilight train. Just not into vampires.

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  8. Ok you nee do Hula... just once, while on the island. It is on my bucket list. Stripper pole is not.

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  9. First of all, I must say I am shocked at my blog demographic here. I would've bet at least 10 bucks that the majority of my readers would've had to be drunk to read this. And look atcha, squeaky clean...all three of you. But I surmise there are only 15 people who really read this anyway.

    @Angela-Prude-ness does not cancel out the hotness, we're still drop dead gorgeous.

    @Cam-Right? Can we get through the next 5-9 movies and call it a day?

    @Nessa- Yes, agree, hula I would try, I might even put on the coconut shell top...the pole, nope. Daring as I am, I don't dig it.

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  10. No vampires in my past or future, thank you very much. How can you live in the frozen tundra and never have gone fishing? I have a box of Shore Lunch in my pantry with your name on it.

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  11. I've been drunk. Is that the question? I didn't comment earlier because I can't think of anything I haven't done. NOT because I'm exciting or anything, but because the only stuff I can think of is stuff like I haven't done my dishes yet. I haven't gotten the oil changed on my car in a while, etc etc.

    You should try the stilettos though. Even if you just walk around in your house by yourself.

    Looking forward to the skanky post so I can link. Working on something that I need it for.

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  12. I agree with Christina on the stilettos...a great pair of heels can make you feel sexy. Not sexy meaning you will want to swing away on a stripper pole, but adds a little more confidence (unless you need to chase a kid, only do it on kid free nights!)

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  13. @Salt- I know! And my uncle is a fishing God, and my Ex also used to fish and hunt. I can't explain it, but the bar is certainly high...I even went to Alaska, and no fishing...my kids have both even been fishing and love it, I will have to cave one of these days.

    @Christina & SingleMama- I actually need to correct myself here. Heels, LOVE, wear them often when not chasing kids, agree and agree. High heels like over 4 inchers, nope, suicide for me. Thanks to Wikipedia for the correction as Stiletto is a type of heel {dagger-like} and not the height of heel. You learn something new everyday.

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  14. oh my belly would make me stick to the pole!

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  15. A stiletto heel is a long, thin, high heel found on some boots and shoes, usually for women. It is named after the stiletto dagger, the phrase being first recorded in the early 1930s.[1] Stiletto heels may vary in length from 2.5 centimetres (1 inch) to 25 cm (10 inches) or more if a platform sole is used, and are sometimes defined as having a diameter at the ground of less than 1 cm (slightly less than half an inch). Stiletto-style heels 5 cm or shorter are called kitten heels. Not all high slim heels merit the description stiletto. The extremely slender original Italian-style stiletto heels of the late 1950s and very early 1960s were no more than 5mm in diameter for much of their length, although the heel sometimes flared out a little at the top-piece (tip). After their demise in the mid-late 1960s, such slender heels were difficult to find until recently due to changes in the way heels were mass-produced. A real stiletto heel has a stem of solid steel or alloy. The more usual method of mass-producing high shoe heels, i.e. moulded plastic with an internal metal tube for reinforcement, does not achieve the true stiletto shape.
    - - -
    I've never tried the Double Down meat-upon-meat sandwich from KFC.

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  16. Hmm....maybe I'm the skanky mom of the single variety. I have not only been within 100 feet of a pole, I have danced on one...yep I'm that chick. But just for info purposes it was thoroughly disinfected beforehand. And I danced on said pole with 10in heels I still have in my closet, I prefer my 7in stilettos though, they make my behind look good. :-)

    Have nevers - I have never cheated on anyone, not even kissing. I have never been on a cruise, I have never lived in one place for longer than 4 years(Nomadic tendencies)......my have never list is kind of short, that's probably bad huh, lol. I live life, what can I say, or at least I did pre-mommyhood. Now I am quite boring. ;-)

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  17. @Beard-Thanks for the C&P, and I kind of wish I could say I've never even eaten at KFC! Did not realize there was a double meat sandwich. Gross.

    @Angel- Haha! And I totally think it's hilarious that you guys think you're the skanky ones! Man, I've generated some good publicity for tomorrow's post, too bad it will be the normal crap.

    I know your germa-phobic tendancies Angel, and frankly, I don't believe you about the pole! But I have nothing against those who have tried or "work" the pole. I've heard it's great exercise, it can spice up the sex life and besides, some of those girls are just "working their way through college". :-)

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  18. @Crystal Lynn- Well in that case, steer clear of the pole. Thanks for dropping by girl!

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  19. And I thought I was the only one who hated Twilight! "Un-breaking Dawn" is more like it...

    Ah, stilettos, I have yet to wear a pair.

    Pole-dancing has always been on my bucket list, but now that you've raised the issue of sanitation...

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  20. @Pepper- Really? The pole is on your bucket list? Interesting. I've done a lot of crazy things in my day, I'd probably actually enjoy the pole...but yes, there is not enough bleach in this world to make me touch one.

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