January 19, 2011

Resolution

Res•o•lu•tion


1. Process of Resolving
The process of resolving something such as a problem or dispute

2. Decision
A firm decision to do something

3. Determination
Firmness of mind or purpose

New Year’s Resolution anyone? I make and take mine with a grain of sand, so when I break them, I don’t feel so bad. Then what’s the point right? Well everyone needs a new beginning, a starting point, a boost, so why not. So thought I share mine with you, and let you know how I’m doing. I think Resolutions, New Year or otherwise, would probably be more effective if we had someone to hold us accountable. But then it can be a very thin line between holding someone accountable, and the accountee lashing out in a fit of rage because she feels attacked and eating a sleeve of Oreos. Just thinking out loud here, not that I’d know anything about that!

1. First resolution: Ponytail restriction.
 That’s right, I said it, and I’m owning it. For two years I have faithfully sported the quick and easy ponytail. You can’t really say much of anything bad about the ponytail; it’s quick, easy, wet, dry, out of your way and cool. I suppose that’s why so many of us “mom type” (yeah, I’m stereotyping) have a gnarly addiction to this do. I’m not going cold turkey here that might be too much! I am only allowing myself one day a week to pony tail it. How will the world recognize me? More importantly, I can’t believe I didn’t recognize me. I feel good without the pony-I look good without the pony. It’s worth the few extra minutes I lose of snooze.

2. Second resolution: No more monkeys eating in the car.
Oh stop, I can feel the laughter. Broke on day two. As we speak my car is littered with chip fragments and crunchy puffs. It’s just too easy, and we’re just too busy. I’m okay letting that one go, but I gave it a whirl. If anyone out there is able to go snack free in the car (and mind you your kids would have to be perfectly content, not screaming banshees) you have my admiration.

3. Third resolution: To be bold.
To walk the line outside of my comfort zone, to take on new challenges (by choice), to be bold in the things I say and in my convictions. I don’t wish to live my life in regret, no if I just would’ve done that, or just would’ve said that. It’s just a chance and if there is no bungee cord or illegal activity involved, then take a chance. Something miraculous might just happen!

I briefly toyed with the notion of tackling procrastination….however; I realized this blog was more than likely born from the very vice I speak. When I procrastinate, it is usually to do something else that needs to be done or something for my kids or self, so I’ve made peace with the “P” word for now.

Did you make any New Year’s Resolutions? How is it going?

January 13, 2011

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Time...I had everything planned out pretty much up to the time I would be 75, then I felt fate, or life, could have it's way with me.  Well, we can see how that turned out.  Sure life would have surprises, I could handle that, besides, it would get boring if not.  But "surprises" like oh the dog ripping the sofa cushions or a dent in the garage door would've sufficed.  I could've even weathered a job change or a move.  Doesn't God just always step on in and let us know we are not in control?  Why does he have to be so good like that?  I suppose he tried to whisper a hint or two in my ear, "trust your gut", "somethings just not right", "another lie".  But stubborn me, just wouldn't listen, I was comfortable in my suburban oblivion.  I suppose it would've taken nothing short of physical, mental, and emotionally upheaval to snap me out of it. (Over and over again).  Did I mention I am stubborn?

So here I sit, two years in looking back at my so called life.  Wondering what was real, what was truth, what a fool I was and now knowing how brave I am.  Often times I was feeling that I was on this roller coaster without a seat belt or safety bar, and all I could do was try to figure out how I would save myself from falling out, when what I should have been doing was holding on for the ride of a lifetime, thrilling and scary, and trusting that God would catch me should I fall.  And he did every time.

My journey has been one of self-discovery, humility, patience and sacrifice.  And surely I've only scratched the surface.  I know someday, everything will become clear.  I am blessed to feel grounded, in my place, in myself, in my parenting, and in my faith.  Finally, I feel that I have purged all the negative energies and people that were pulling me in the wrong direction.

My hope is that each day's blessings can wash over me and renew my spirit and fill my heart.  I'm looking forward to a wonderful new year, despite the snow and 9 below, despite ex-husbands and outrageous gas prices, despite the people who said "you can't", but I did.

Happy 2011!