March 14, 2012

If You're Stabby And You Know It, Write A Post!


have been in a deep funk the last week.  Not just a regular funk, or PMS funk, but a contemplating if jail or a law suit is really so bad if I punch someone and might need medication funk.  What gives?  Spring has sprung, the snow has melted, babies are being born {not mine}, and so shouldn't I be twirling on the hillside like Maria, you know hills are alive, etc.?  But I don’t sing, no one should have to hear that, I do wear an apron though.  

In researching my post, seems it's not just me.  Almost everyone I come into contact with starts by saying, "I'm not having a good day".  Now usually I'd crack a joke or rely on my bubble gum optimism; but I just respond with, "yeah, I pretty much hate everyone".  Except for you, dear readers, never you.

I'll admit, if I wanted to rationalize my stabbiness I could: IEP meetings, regression on the Autism front, Daylight Savings Time which is never fun with a kiddo with special needs that rely on routine {whomever thought up daylight savings is first on my punch list}, or a myriad of issues with my kid's Dad.  But this list is nothing new, that’s my life, it’s never made me this way before.

Maybe I'm just getting old?  Well of course I’m getting old; maybe I’m growing into my oldness. I see why there are "grumpy old men" and women, because they are sick of putting up with nonsense.  Seriously, I have no time for nonsense right now...none.  And let me clarify, there is a difference between fun and nonsense.  I like fun.  Fun is good.  Nonsense would include stupid drama, something ridiculous someone or a politician said, people not thinking before acting and then wondering why they have consequences for their actions.  That sort of nonsense.  So am I just old and crabby?  Perhaps I'm older and wiser?

Maybe it's a virus.  My household avoided getting the stomach flu or influenza this year, so did I catch the stabby bug?  Does the virus eat up all my tolerance for anything and everything?  It must also make magnify children's screeching and whining resembling the nails on chalkboard effect.  The virus also must have affected my neuron blockers {I totally don't know if that is anything, I made it up} so that I am immediately defensive, critical and dismissive.  It obviously affected my corneas because everyone pretty much looks sketchy too.

I know someone is going to tell me to get outside in the sun.  This could be a serious case of vitamin D deficiency. That’s not uncommon in the arctic regions here.  But I'm trapped at work, in the rat race and daycare and homework and dinner...its dark by the time I get home most days.  Also, I am whiny a lot lately too, just in case you didn’t notice.

I don't know how I'm going to get this funk to lift, but I need to figure something out.  At this point I shouldn't be allowed around sharp objects. 

Friends, how are you feeling?  Anyone else got the stabby bug?  How do you lift the funk?

Disclaimer:  This is a satirical post, I shouldn't have to say that, but somebody is going to think I'm really going to stab someone and that would be NONSENSE!

29 comments:

  1. I'm totally stabby! I've decided to enjoy it instead of fight it.....however I may end up divorced if I keep it up. No worries momma....I love ya & will help hide any bodies ;)

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    1. That is true friendship right there! I will also be in need of an alibi and a new passport. I hope you did one of your rockstar wordless wednesdays, that always lifts my spirits.

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  2. I can't help it! I'm having a great day!!!! Sorry sweetie.
    The sun is out for the second day in a row (rareity) and the temp is in the 70's (high).
    I got a great deal on the health club membership yesterday and started my workouts today! I finally was able to decide on a design for the wine label I've been working on for two years (bowling pin...weird but perfect!) and I start my teaching day soon. I did some window washing and spring cleaning on Sunday. What is wrong with me? ( I know, I know....I'm going to NY in a week!! ta dah!!!!! wahoo!)..
    All this joy is masking my incredibly swollen back issues which make it hard to get out of bed and go to bed and stay in bed.
    At least the sun is out....I'll deal with it.

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    1. Because we're related, I'm not going to hold this perkiness against you. But I'm incredibly excited for your NYC trip! You will have a ball, can't wait to hear about it. Does make me smile that you are smiling...but take care of that back, lady!

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    2. Three words...
      VIC'S VAPOR RUB
      I'm working on it.
      Thanks for the love.
      NY....here I come!
      (I promise not to post any photos of the one who shall remain nameless and photo free on the world wide social networks) lol!

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    3. "the one who shall remain nameless and photo free" alright you win a prize, that made me laugh to tears. She does know her way around a subway;) Love you.

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  3. At the risk of shocking you and having you delete this comment, I'm going to say this one thing:

    B.O.B. - Battery Operated Boyfriend

    Just sayin'! ;-) Love ya! Hope you feel better soon, dearie.

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    1. You have rendered me speechless. NOT because of the comment, but because in a 100 years I would never, everevereverevereverEVAH have expected it from you. It totally made me lol. And you used B.O.B and dearie in the same paragraph. Love it.

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  4. Oh, and by the way... Best. blog post title. EVER. I will be singing that to myself all day long now.

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    1. Like Maria? Sing it. I have a great rendition of I hate IEPs to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle.

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  5. Daylight Savings always makes me feel stabby--whether we're springing forward or falling back or whatever. Either way it screws up my kids and it's not like I ever get that hour of extra sleep anymore. F- you, daylight savings time. F- you.

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    1. That's right! I guess I understand it, but let's be honest, is it worth it? Can we vote on this? And you're right, we never get any sleep anyway, why do those jerks need to take an hour...AN HOUR. Pshhh.

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  6. "Stabby"...I LIKE it! I'm definitely gonna add that to my everyday repertoire (had to look that word up).

    You are too young to blame it on age...me on the other hand...YUP!!! I bet that's definitely NOT what you wanted to hear but I agree it sure seems to be the time of year of the "funk", "stabby", moods.

    You are NOT alone! :D

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    1. Oh my gosh, there is a real definition for stabby? I thought it was just slang and I leeched onto it because somedays that word is just all encompassing. And yes, girl, it could and is my age;) But glad I'm not alone!

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    2. LMAO...sorry, I meant I had to look up "repertoire". =D Still...I like it "stabby" that is. Now I have a word for those days.

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  7. Well I read that Russia or somewhere stopped having Daylight Savings Time because there were so many suicides. I know, silly because geez. That hour isn't that serious. And I can't really believe it's the weather either because we've had the shortest most awesome non-winter ever.

    But YES I am stabby as shit. This week has literally kicked my ass out in front of a bus that then ran me over. I am thinking I either need meds or meds or someone may get hurt.

    Just kidding. hahaha. maybe.

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    1. Haha! You aren't kidding, embrace it. Well I'd say I'm moving to Russia, but no, I wouldn't...ever, I'll deal with the daylight savings. That's sneaky blaming the suicides on daylight savings and not just because oh it's Russia! Nothing against Russian people, but they got some crazy junk to deal with there. We should probably do a Triad post whilst the bitchery levels are at an all time high.

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  8. Cari I've been feeling EXACTLY the same - it's weird. I know I should be happy but i've just felt so down in the dumps. I put it down to being a bit ill with flu last week, until - after 5 days on the couch wearing my boyfriends t shirt and eating cookie dough with a spoon later I realise I wasn't even ill anymore I was just faking it to myself. What has gotton into us!? We're far to amazing to feel down! xx

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    1. That's right! We're fabulous. Good grief I hate feeling this way, hate it. Hence the post. We'll snap back, Jen, I actually cracked a smile today that wasn't forced. Things are looking up:)

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  9. Like I've said before, those IEP meetings can put you in a funk. The words they are saying about your child are delivered in either a clinical or syrupy tone, but they cut just the same. Been there.

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    1. I must say this is probably the best IEP meeting thus far. This new school district is amazing, not the news I hoped for, but they were beyond prepared. But no matter how many times you do it, it's never easy to hear all the things your child can't do. I also loathe the word deviation and the numbers that follow. Thanks for your support, as always.

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  10. Sometimes I feel that way too. The other day an old lady took my parking spot while I was waiting with my blInker on. I thought I AM GOING TO THROWDOWN WITH GRANDMA IN THE TARGET PARKING LOT!!!

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    1. I will be rooting you on, looking for you on the 6 o'clock news and I will provide bail money. I get this.

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  11. I was feeling stabby for about a year. I was really getting quite sick of it as I much prefer my cheery, friendly self. ;)I must say of late, I have been feeling less stabby but I AM starting to get really annoyed at two things in this world. Firstly, I can't seem to spend money on anything without the sales person wanting me to spend MORE. Secondly, I am really tired of the three thousand different pin numbers, access numbers, and user names I am expected to remember. In fact, I may have to blog about it!

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    1. Omg the frackin' pins and passwords. Naturally I make up the most nonsensical things that I'll never remember. I must admit, I spend way too much time answering secret questions to verify the dumb password I made up. Good point. Stab worthy for sure! And yes, you should blog about that or I will;)

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  12. I prefer wise to old, but wait, I need to go get my glasses to finish typing this. No. I think old might be right on. I'm starting to talk like Andy Rooney and am pretty sure my eyebrows are following in his footsteps. Either way, I wish we could sip tea with our shawls and talk about boys should pull their pants up and how crazy it is that banana clips are making a return.

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    1. I could so sip tea with you and we'd be besties. Maybe when we're older and there is less therapy involved between our children, sigh. If you hang your 'readers' on a beaded chain, that classifies you as old...so I've heard. But I do want to bring the side pony back.

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  13. I had to stop myself from googling "neuron blockers".
    Oh, I am stabby as ever, make no mistake about that! I guess I've always been this way, but I still want to tone it down a bit. People around me are starting to complain.

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    1. DO NOT google that! You're going to now, aren't you? I know it's a real thing, but I have no idea how to use it in proper context. Isn't it funny how we can be crabby, acknowledge we're crabby, but when someone says, "oh, that's why you're crabby", we get upset? Nothing less than complicated, maybe that's why we blog?

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