April 12, 2012

Kiss My Grits and Bless Your Heart


Just in case you couldn't tell from my bouffant hair, cardigan sweater and sweet smile, I was raised in the South, y'all.  That's right a southern belle of sorts.  Of course I moved back to the Arctic Tundra, so all the sweetness was sucked right out of me by the frigid temperatures!  Or was I ever sweet?  Hard to say, but I think I still have some of you fooled.

She.Is.Precious.
This post was inspired by my Twitter pal, @lookingforIsis; Stacy is sweet and brings back all my memories of sweet tea and southern charm. Well and she also told me to write this, she gets the credit, could be good or bad.

Bless your heart and kiss my grits are two southern sayings.  I'm going to explain the difference between the two and the appropriate time to use either.  Quite honestly, people in the south don't really go around saying, "kiss my grits", I just like it.  I'm sure it is the result of some hillbilly hootin' and hollerin' it on a TV show.  Not sure I've ever really heard anyone say, "Kiss my grits" in a serious conversation, except for me; but I am rarely serious, except when I am.  

Bless Your Heart

Bless your heart is big, y'all.  Sure it could mean bless your soul, praying for you and see ya in heaven.  But it doesn't really.  That's just what we want you to think.  Bless your heart is sweet snark, and said in a sing-song voice, with a side tilt of the head and a little brow scrunch.  

When someone says bless your heart, it can mean a few things: 

I'm so sorry you got yourself into this mess. Now how in the world are you going to dig yourself out of this mess?

You didn't know any better.

You are not be the brightest crayon in the box.

You could be the cutest and most precious thing I've ever seen. {refer to photo above}

OR and a big OR...you have rendered me speechless.  You had six kids and refused pain meds and had 68 hours of labor with each and lost 3 of your toes to a Gator in the creek behind your house?  Bless your heart.  Most oftentimes, I will use bless your heart when rendered speechless.

I promised you an example, I will deliver.  Here would be an appropriate time to use, "Bless your Heart":

Frazzled single Mom brings brownies made from the box, rather than from scratch to school bake sale..."oh, thanks Cari, bless your heart, honey, I know you're so busy with those kids all by yourself".

Sounds kind of mean without coming right out and saying I'm a hot mess, right?  Yes, yes it is suppose to.  That is the magic of bless your heart.  

Kiss My Grits

I can only assume anyone {me} that would actually use this phrase, would need to be spittin' mad!  I would also know assume that you would say it loudly, while storming off and shout it as you turn your head, almost calling attention to the situation, or drawing a crowd, if you will.  Some call it a "scene".  Using the finger would not be appropriate when saying kiss my grits, after all, most people don't know what grits are, and you've stumped them right there.  Or, in the south, they are well aware of the breakfast staple and know you're not playin'.  While bless your heart is used as not to openly offend, kiss my grits is meant to offend, and in fact inflict pain.  Right.  If you're pulling out kiss my grits, you want that person to know they can kiss your bahookie, {thank you, Angel}.  The perfect times to use kiss my grits:

Some "well-meaning" psycho-therapist or grocery check-out boy decides to give you parenting advice, "Kiss my grits, Dr. Phil....and grocery lad!"

Someone leaves a mean comment on your blog, "kiss my grits blog stalker!"

The ex-husband says he has "babysat" the kids once already this week and has things to do...yep, Kiss 'em.

Well-meaning Moms at the schools say, "oh, thanks Cari, bless your heart, honey; I know you're so busy with those kids all by yourself" when you bring not-so-homemade-brownies from a mix to the bake sale.  Totally appropriate to say kiss my grits and make a scene.  But you'll get a lot of bless your heart side head tilt looks at the next PTO meeting, proceed with caution.

There you go y'all!  My hope for you is that you can work Bless Your Heart and Kiss My Grits into your everyday vocabulary. Do you have any sayings you'd like to bring back?

This post is brought to you by the letter, "K" from the A-Z Challenge for April, kiss my grits, challenge.





50 comments:

  1. I'm about a stone's throw from northern Kentucky. Ivy went to visit one of her Kentucky friends at "the Holler". Guess why it's called "the Holler? ....because in them -there -hills, everyone (relatives) lives close enough that they stand on their front porch and HOLLER over to the other shacks. Really! That close I am .... to the HOLLER!!!! whoa! I'm sure what they are Hollering is- Kiss My Grits! you relative over there, Bless Your Heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never knew that about the 'Holler'. Interesting. And yes, I'm sure they were hollerin' kiss my grits for sure. Also love that you said, "stones throw", I still say that.;)

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  2. Hahaha......I miss The South!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't miss hurricanes....but I think I would take em over blizzards!

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    2. Well I've never encountered a hurricane, but I'd take blizzard I think.

      Delete
  3. but, wait a minute...why is "kiss my grits" derogatory? don't make me look it up on wikipedia...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't just gloss over that little tidbit? There goes any hope of a job at the newspaper.

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  4. Lol, as a Londoner that slight deflection in tone would have completely gone over my head. Thank you for the insight. As for 'kiss my grits' - love it! And a father looking after his kids is not babysitting - it's parenting :)

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    Replies
    1. I bet you have some cheeky sayings to share! And yes, the whole parenting thing is way over his head, bless his heart.

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  5. Oh I love it! I knew you could do it, and love that you worked in the asshattery of the ex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the idea! I try not to mention the ex in my posts, but nothing else felt quite as appropriate.

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  6. I lived in St. Louis and Oklahoma for a bit which is close enough to be the south but far enough for no one to claim it's the south. Never heard kiss my grits, altho I'm definitely using it more often as well as bless your heart. (because of you, of course). I wish people said "God don't like ugly" up here...I loved that one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. Also people in the south will describe an attitude as "ugly", like "stop being ugly to your sister". I use that a lot actually. You are already doing a bang-up job bringing this stuff back, by the way.

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  7. I'm a big fan of bless your heart. It's the perfect sweet insult. Full disclosure: Both my parents are Southern so I'm a little southern by nature. :)
    My friend used to always say "but God knows my heart". This would always be right after she'd said something totally snarky about somebody. It's like "but God knows my heart" is the perfect clean up. Feel free to add that one to your vocab.

    P.S. I'm sure the brownies were deelish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that actually does make you southern, you're infused with it! I've heard, "God knows my heart", and yes, I'm adding it and have said it twice already;)

      I made up that brownie thing, naturally I'd make those babies from scratch. Or would I?

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  8. Hahahahahaha thanks for clearing that up. "Kiss my grits" sounds like a much more practical phrase to me. :-P

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    Replies
    1. Not sure why it never caught on, it is a classic.

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  9. Learn New vacab everyday and these are priceless :) Never liked grits, so I guess it fits :)

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    Replies
    1. I don't miss grits, but they are okay. I know I'm the Merriam Webster over here.

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  10. I've always thought "Bless your heart" to be a hypocritical remark, anyway :). Those people can kiss my grits for all I care!

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    Replies
    1. Well you were right. Lol. I would love to see how someone reacted to "kiss my grits" in your neck of the woods...I think they'd be stumped;)

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  11. Ok, because I'm old as the hills I actually remember hearing "Kiss my grits!" on TV--I think it was the show "Alice" (about a diner--anyone? anyone?) and one of the waitresses was Southern. So my Chicago born and bred brother and I would run around telling people to "kiss my grits" when we were like 6 or something. I'm sure my mom loved that.

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    1. YES! Thank you, that's it! Alice with the red hair and Mel the cook. I could've researched that, but I have no time for such things, like research;) If my kids said that, I'd die laughing, naturally I'd correct them...maybe.

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  12. Everyone here in NY thinks I'm southern because I'm from West Virginia. No comments, please.

    Southerners, however, snort at the idea of West Virginians being southern. After all, the state was formed because WE SIDED WITH THE NORTH IN THE WAR, PEOPLE.

    I'm the token southern belle here...bless their hearts. (I do actually use that saying, btw! You are spot on with that one!) Maybe I should milk it? Serve southern cocktails and all?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd say WV is somewhat southern, but yes southern people do get a little itchy about the mason dixon line and North and South bit. Can't we all just get along?

      I would love a southern cocktail. If you start wearing hoop skirts, might be an issue.

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  13. A. I do remember "Alice"! :)

    B. I'm not from the south or the north, or anywhere in between (military brat)... but I tell folks regularly to kiss my grits.

    C. I don't say Bless your heart... but I do adore people who say it to me! It's such a sweet gesture! :)

    D. I also tell people to eat my shorts, a la Bart Simpson. Some people need to hear it, & I'm just the person to bring it to their ear holes. <--- Public Service, ya'll! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A) Thank goodness, someone does, because I didn't remember.

      B) You're well-rounded.

      C) Bless your heart.

      D) I would expect nothing less from you, it's what I love about you most.

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  14. I read this one aloud (while home alone) with a Southern accent. Really did Laugh Out Loud! New fan, totally!

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