Kiss My Grits and Bless Your Heart

Just in case you couldn't tell from my bouffant hair, cardigan sweater and sweet smile, I was raised in the South, y'all.  That's right a southern belle of sorts.  Of course I moved back to the Arctic Tundra, so all the sweetness was sucked right out of me by the frigid temperatures!  Or was I ever sweet?  Hard to say, but I think I still have some of you fooled.

She.Is.Precious.

This post was inspired by my Twitter pal, @lookingforIsis; Stacy is sweet and brings back all my memories of sweet tea and southern charm. Well and she also told me to write this, she gets the credit, could be good or bad.

Bless your heart and kiss my grits are two southern sayings.  I'm going to explain the difference between the two and the appropriate time to use either.  Quite honestly, people in the south don't really go around saying, "kiss my grits", I just like it.  I'm sure it is the result of some hillbilly hootin' and hollerin' it on a TV show.  Not sure I've ever really heard anyone say, "Kiss my grits" in a serious conversation, except for me; but I am rarely serious, except when I am.  

Bless Your Heart

Bless your heart is big, y'all.  Sure it could mean bless your soul, praying for you and see ya in heaven.  But it doesn't really.  That's just what we want you to think.  Bless your heart is sweet snark, and said in a sing-song voice, with a side tilt of the head and a little brow scrunch.  

When someone says bless your heart, it can mean a few things: 

I'm so sorry you got yourself into this mess. Now how in the world are you going to dig yourself out of this mess?

You didn't know any better.

You are not be the brightest crayon in the box.

You could be the cutest and most precious thing I've ever seen. {refer to photo above}

OR and a big OR...you have rendered me speechless.  You had six kids and refused pain meds and had 68 hours of labor with each and lost 3 of your toes to a Gator in the creek behind your house?  Bless your heart.  Most oftentimes, I will use bless your heart when rendered speechless.

I promised you an example, I will deliver.  Here would be an appropriate time to use, "Bless your Heart":

Frazzled single Mom brings brownies made from the box, rather than from scratch to school bake sale..."oh, thanks Cari, bless your heart, honey, I know you're so busy with those kids all by yourself".

Sounds kind of mean without coming right out and saying I'm a hot mess, right?  Yes, yes it is suppose to.  That is the magic of bless your heart.  

Kiss My Grits

I can only assume anyone {me} that would actually use this phrase, would need to be spittin' mad!  I would also know assume that you would say it loudly, while storming off and shout it as you turn your head, almost calling attention to the situation, or drawing a crowd, if you will.  Some call it a "scene".  Using the finger would not be appropriate when saying kiss my grits, after all, most people don't know what grits are, and you've stumped them right there.  Or, in the south, they are well aware of the breakfast staple and know you're not playin'.  While bless your heart is used as not to openly offend, kiss my grits is meant to offend, and in fact inflict pain.  Right.  If you're pulling out kiss my grits, you want that person to know they can kiss your bahookie, {thank you, Angel}.  The perfect times to use kiss my grits:

Some "well-meaning" psycho-therapist or grocery check-out boy decides to give you parenting advice, "Kiss my grits, Dr. Phil....and grocery lad!"

Someone leaves a mean comment on your blog, "kiss my grits blog stalker!"

The ex-husband says he has "babysat" the kids once already this week and has things to do...yep, Kiss 'em.

Well-meaning Moms at the schools say, "oh, thanks Cari, bless your heart, honey; I know you're so busy with those kids all by yourself" when you bring not-so-homemade-brownies from a mix to the bake sale.  Totally appropriate to say kiss my grits and make a scene.  But you'll get a lot of bless your heart side head tilt looks at the next PTO meeting, proceed with caution.

There you go y'all!  My hope for you is that you can work Bless Your Heart and Kiss My Grits into your everyday vocabulary. Do you have any sayings you'd like to bring back?

This post is brought to you by the letter, "K" from the A-Z Challenge for April, kiss my grits, challenge.