April 18, 2012

The Parent Trap: Counting It Out

When I was a young lass, okay, young Mom, make that younger Mom; there were several things I said I'd never do.  You 've all read that post on a bazillion other blogs, so I'm going to spare you, but there is one thing I'd like to just briefly address.

I swore I was never, ever going to be one of those Moms that counts to three:

ooonnnnneeee, twwwwwwooooooooooo, threee! 

Somewhere in the middle of the drawn out two, you say a little prayer that the kid moves his kiester, because you have no back-up plan besides, "OR ELSE", or my favorite, "BECAUSE I SAID SO",  and there is always wielding the power of authority with, "BECAUSE I'M THE MOM".

My original plan was to have children that never misbehaved, therefore I would never have to even consider such tactics. That didn't work out so well.  I will tell you why I count, because it works, that's why.  God only knows why this works.  But it does.  I start counting and my kids think it's a dang fire drill around here or the Apocalypse has arrived.

No Mommy, please, please, don't count.

I don't know what has put the fear of God into them?  {more than likely my laser eyes} I don't spank, I have once and it's not for me.  I don't ground them, I find difficulty fully following through with punishments long term, and on top of it, they think I'm hilarious.  No lie.  My kids think life is a big knock-knock joke, and I am here as their personal entertainment.  Yeah, I know, I should cut the fun off in this house pronto before they start smoking cigarettes and hanging with the wrong crowd.  Then I'll end up sending them to some Kids-Gone-Wild-Boot-Camp.  In all seriousness we do have fun, there isn't much need for discipline because my kids are generally good and well-behaved.

But sometimes, when the DVDs are strewn across the floor, and I've told them nicely to pick them up a good 6 times, I'll resort to the countdown.

Someday they are going to figure out this is an empty threat.  Then life as I know it will change.

What threat do your kids respond to the best?  Are you surprised it works? Do you have a back-up plan?

Now, I'm off to see how many people blogged about porn in the A-Z Challenge.  Probably nobody, but that would've been a fun "P".

18 comments:

  1. I still count and my daughter is 8. Doesn't work as well as it used to but she generally moves by 3. Nowadays I take stuff away, like going outside to play with her friends after school. I am lucky also to have a great kid that doesn't give me a lot of problems. Crossing my fingers it stays that way. We do have the teen years to face still. I'm hoping you let her move with you when she hits puberty.

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    1. No, no, I was totally counting on you taking mine.

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  2. Believe it or not....I only had to say "1"
    I'm not sure why...it must have been the tone that did it...or they knew that I never ever ever went back on my counting voice. Glad those days are over....Now I'm into shock swearing. It's not working very well. :)

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    1. I think once you pass a certain age, nothing works anymore. It's adult to adult and then you have to redefine your relationship...there is a good 5-10 year transitional period for redefinition. ;)

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  3. Counting is good ! Sometimes I just get so mad, I don't even wait to count :) I should try the counting! I do use the 'because I say so' and now they don't question that. My youngest who is 8 gives me more grief with her arguments than my 13 yr old, so I guess it temperament more than age although teens have their own stuff. I don't spank either but I sometimes scream ! Parenting is tough but I just trust in my heart they'll be fine.

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    1. Say a prayer they'll be okay. That's what I do because otherwise I haven't a clue.

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  4. My "boys" are now 17-1/2 and 19. Yes, the teen years are a whole different ball game and no, I have no helpful hints. To be perfectly honest...I've pretty much given up now. Ha!

    I can't really remember one specific threat that worked better than the others. I think I used all the usual ones and when that didn't work, I found a really good temper tantrum (uhhhh that would be from me) did the trick. The shock of me going ballistic seemed to pull things all together for quite a while after that. I'm pretty sure I haven't scarred them for life but I guess I'll have to wait and see. ;P

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    1. I am actually 99% sure I have scarred my kids for life.

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  5. Oh.. how it works! Could it be the power of three? ;)

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  6. I've resorted to doing something I swore I'd never do. I ask, "are you going to clean your playroom, or do you want Mommy to clean it her way?" Which means I break out a trash bag and get ready to donate toys.

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    1. Bless you, Janna. I'm not the only one! I've done that, totally worked, although I felt terrible, but the sound of trash bags opening sends them skittering to clean their rooms.

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  7. One year, close to Christmas, I decided that our younger son was spoiled. Spoiled he was. So I packed up ALL the toys he owned, and I hauled them out of his bedroom. Husband came home to crazed mom lugging boxes out of son's bedroom. He knew better than to question.

    That room was so empty when I was done that it echoed. I made our son earn his toys back with good behavior. LOLOL! Now, all I have to do is to remind him of that, and he walks the straight and narrow. I've decided that sometimes all it takes is one episode of insane parenting to hold over their heads for leverage for a good long time to come.

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    1. One episode? Let's say there were 2, possibly 3, then what? I've been there and acted like a lunatic many a time. Maybe that's why counting works, the kids can sense Mommy might go off the deep end, haha!

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  8. More importantly...how many people did blog about porn?!?!? :)

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    1. Not sure, I had a headache and read zero blogs;)

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  9. I have never tried this tactic on my kid... Maybe because my mom never used it on me? Besides, I'm not too good with the laser eyes, so it probably won't work for us.

    I'm also not a spanker. I guess, when I start raising my voice, that's what gets to my daughter. Or probably, just like your kids, she's an overall good girl.

    I bet it's a circus in your household. Never a dull moment.

    Oh, I hope somebody did blog about porn...

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    1. It's all in the tone, isn't it? As long as it works.

      I think the A-Z crowd is too classy to blog about porn, I am teetering somewhere in the grey area between classy and crap.

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