May 22, 2012

June Cleaver Would Not Even Go Here! #Dogtopus

I would consider myself to be crafty.  I have craft supplies and what not, I'll do a little glitter and glue with the offspring.  But there comes point where I draw the line.  Food.  Whatever you do on your own time is fine; I however will not be fashioning the Eiffle Tower out of Ramen noodles for my children.  I suppose I don't entirely see the point.  Let's talk about this, okay I'll talk you listen, with some photos for your viewing pleasure of course.

Mr. Owl, how many licks does it  take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie pop?
{Kicking it old school, if you don't understand the statement above, you might want to go back to your Bieber}
                                                                     

I think I could probably pull off Mr. Owl up there. It doesn't require to many ingredients, glue or some fancy tool or edible food coloring.  Some proponents of "food art" may argue, oh my kids are picky eaters, this will help.  Really?  I mean does that work?  I'm giving my kids the benefit of the doubt and saying they are smarter than that.  They aren't picky eaters, but they don't like cucumbers; if I served up Mr. Owl complete with cucumber tree, it would go down like this:

Me:  Why didn't you eat your tree, honey?

Kid:  That's not a tree, it's cucumbers and they are gross.

And that is like half a cuke there.  I'd rather hide them in oh, a salad.  That's right, I've fooled them with salad people.

Don't look at me like that.



                                                                       Source: montrealfashionmoms.com via Laura on Pinterest


Bert and Ernie.  Aren't they scary enough in real life?  The unibrow?  The huge cherry nose?  If I were a kid, this would scar me for life.  Maybe it's me and I don't like my food starring back at me, with the crazy eye no less.  And then there is always the chance your kid won't recognize what you've made.  Buzz kill right there.  Why put yourself through that?

Panda Express?




                                                                    Source: country-song0.blogspot.com via Sydney on Pinterest

Naturally, I did not delve into the ingredient breakdown of "food" pictured above.  But I suspect this is rice.  A heck of a lot of rice.  Who wants to eat a huge glob of rice like that?  No avacado, crab, or cucumber to be found!  A rice ball is a rice ball no matter how panda-ish it may look.  Some of this "cute food" is really just a waste and downright unappatizing.  Think of all the remnants you throw away just to make the nose or hair on something.  It doesn't seem green if you ask me.  So save the Pandas!

Have Some Time To kill?


                           
                               Source: mcc7.arrange.at via Tina on Pinterest
Source: dumpaday.com via VURRUKKULLUK on Pinterest 


This is what I like to call, "Too much time on your hands".  I don't think I could even eat that because of the sheer enormitiy of time this must have taken.  Sure it's fun!  The kids will LOVE it!  Maybe, but I'm not eating Brocclapoodle.  Also, I worry about the refridgeration time while you were widdling away at a bean stalk.  That's pretty amazing.  Hope you got an "A" at the culinary institute.

Stop It.


                                                                     Source: pinterestin.tumblr.com via maryanne on Pinterest

The yoda shaped guacamole was worse, trust me.  I see that you've labeled that "cheese ball".  I wouldn't eat it.  I don't like black licorice with my cheese.  Stop this.


I SAID STOP!


Please dear friends, why?  Why can't we just eat hot dogs on a bun like God intended?  Why the dogtopus?  This isn't the first appearance Dogtopus has made on this blog...please see here.  I'm not just asking, or threatening anymore; I'm begging.  Stop the madness, really that platter of dogtopuses doesn't deserve 7909 re-pins on Pinterest, it's just gross.

And for the record, the plural form of octopus  is octopuses.  Thought it was octopi didn't you?  So did I.


Now come clean.  Have you made food art?  Why? And what did you make? Will you stop?







36 comments:

  1. Guilty of the not so creative:
    Ants on a log, Mickey Mouse pancakes, bunny pears.

    Anything else I have made is probably deep, deep in my subconscious just waiting to emerge for my future grandchildren to spend their first holiday.

    (except the dogtopus...eek!)

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    1. Simple stuff the kids can do themselves, I'm alright with. Also Grandparents get a pass on arty food. Thank you for not thinking the dogtopus is cute.

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  2. I remember, I remember!!! I could not however remember the answer/punchline so had to look it up. Oi-vay! I'm pretty sure I would've remembered before I turned 50 though. ;P

    I can honestly say I have never made any food art unless of course you count birthday cakes?!? I obviously did not love my children enough.

    The broccoli poodle had me LMAO!!! OMG! I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to eat broccoli again!

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    1. THREE! :) I don't know why that owl reminded me of that, but it did. Yes, I too am a terrible mother because I will not fashion their food into art. We'll form a club, called, eat what's on your plate.

      The brocclapoodle is outrageous. And on that note, who even thought that up?

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  3. Wow...talk about food nurturing gone crazy!

    No. I've done the IhOP style pancake with a whipped cream face and strawberry eyes. That's the extent of my craftiness. Or craftsy-ness. Or whatever the proper term is. Food is for eating. Food is not for playing.

    And that doctopus? I won't be going near a wiener for awhile. Disturbing!

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    1. I have also made a face in the pancakes with chocolate chips. There is where I draw the line. Dogtopus, according to Pinterest, might also be called, "redneck seafood". Disturbing indeed.

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  4. I'm with you on cute food. The most I do is occasionally cut my kids' sandwich with a cookie cutter. And the dogopus is just gross.

    I laughed out loud at the tree/cucumber exchange. That's right on.

    I can tolerate food art at Halloween and Christmas, other than that, I want my food to look like food.

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    1. Yes! I also take issue with Gingerbread houses. But that is another post and I will be labeled some sort of monster.

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  5. I'll admit I have pinned some pretty creations of food on my pinterest 'Kid friendly board' but never made them & will probably never! The fanciest I've gotten is making roses out of tomatoes for salad and getting the crinkly edge on cucumbers.... but that's more adult food. I let my kids mess around with decorating cupcakes though & however odd those look, they eat them since they made them & of course they're cupcakes :)Ah I have made different shaped pancakes when my kids were little. Glad they out grew it!!Now it's just practical cooking with taste so they eat !Like I sneak in blended beets & carrots into my spaghetti sauce & they don't know;) Also put a lot of nutritional junk into my smoothies & it blends in ! Just sneaky tricks to get them eat healthy. No fancy art ! No !

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    1. I do sneakery with supplements, but also throw all sorts of healthy goodness in my sauces and burgers, etc. I agree, baking might be different entirely, I do like to decorate there. But what happens when they go off to college and they don't get their sandwich cut like an owl? ;)

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  6. I'm rarely that great at preparing regular food. I wouldn't even attempt such nonsense. Did you see my craft? That's why. My kid would not eat any of that. And that dogtopus pic reminds me of a patch of ants on the sidewalk. The more there are, the grosser it gets. Also, if you have to make a huge sign to tell people what something is, you are probably not doing it right.

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    1. Exactly. Our kids are too smart for these shenanigans. I do think you should attempt this though, perhaps in a muffin tin? Always if you need a sign, bad news.

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  7. The closest I've gotten to food art is to use heart-shaped cookie cutters on my kids' sandwiches and apples on Valentine's Day. Otherwise, who has the time?

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    1. That's what I want to know! I can barely get my kid's lunches packed on time, let alone this craziness. Maybe the kids are with the nanny?

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  8. i have not done food art. the first one was cute the last ones were just ridic. why waste that much time? isn't the food cold by the time you're done playing with it? now your kids really won't eat it.

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    1. It is just wasteful, and I think my kids would laugh at me. They'd be all like, "Mom, this looks like a dog not broccoli"...and probably be mad.

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  9. I must confess, I've made the weenie octupi. They are a hoot. Other than that, just faces with raisins on pancakes. Boring. If it can get a kid to eat, go for it. I LOVE the Bert and Ernie!

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    1. Mare, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. The first step is admitting there is a problem;) I can't take the dogtopus, yikes!

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    2. HA! Does anybody really know anybody? :-)

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  10. Hey, I just came across you blog. I am a single mother to a 5 1/2 month old little girl. Searching for single parent blogs, like my own. Single parenting has been rough but trying to connect with others to make it a little bit helpful :)

    http://sistersouls.typepad.com/my-blog/

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hard to find support initially, but you will. If you aren't on Twitter I would advise doing that as well.

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  11. I'm just happy to make food at all for my kids--much less cute it up like that. And my 4-year-old is so picky that he won't even eat hotdogs--dogtopus or not. I may try pancake shapes someday...maybe.

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    1. I don't even eat hot dogs. I know what they put in those things! I'm in to much of a hurry to shape pancakes, usually I'm half asleep too. There could be an accident, or fire if I tried something fancy like that.

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  12. Girl, you make me laugh. Gotta say, I loved the broccoli poodle, because I have a standard poodle. He rocks. Poodles rock. I might be a fan of that one, but the rest is just plum silly. I'm SO blogging about this and linking to your blog here. You got me GOING!

    www.WestCoastPosse.com

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    1. Woo-hoo, let me know when you blog it so I can read it;) Yes, the ridiculousness of it all is becoming a movement.

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  13. I won't eat a hot dog now unless it is in Octopus form.

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    1. Traitor. I suspected as much. My recipe was that good was it?

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  14. LOL this is brilliant - who has the time to cut their hotdogs like that?? (I do kind of like the owl sandwich though...) xxx

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    1. Who indeed, Scarlett? They should come forward.

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  15. OMG!!! These are insane!!! LOLOL!!

    I'm admitting to taking a PB&J and smashing a dinosaur cookie cutter on top of it. My son told me to stop in second grade.

    Your kids eat salad? That's some nice parenting. I have to hide veggies. I bake them into stuff. No kidding.

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    1. I hide lots of goodness too, but yes, they eat salad. It might be the only thing I've done right.

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  16. Did you think that Dogtopus would sneak by me in a post and I'd miss it? Not! But now, I can add Brocclapoodle to the mix! Oh, Cari, your blog is the blog that keeps on giving! LOL! I tweet these to my co-workers and they always ask the same thing: "Some one took the time to actually do that?"

    I've added trying Dogtopus and Brocclapoodle to my bucket list.

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    1. You try those, it'll be the end of the line, Q! End of the bucket!

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  17. The closest I've come to food art was making ringlets out of potato peels!

    Those dogtopuses are creepy! I also used to think octopi was the plural form for octopus. Oh well, so much for grammar school...

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    1. That's fancy Pepper! I know, I'm saying Octopi anyway...rebel.

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  18. Call me world's worst mom --- I'm considered fancy when I get out the frozen waffles. Not even kidding --- cuz we're lucky to have waffles & syrup at the same time. Seems like every time I buy one, I think I have the other, & I'm WRONG. So yeah, frozen waffles with syrup = BEST. MORNING. EVER. But I did kinda like the rice pandas... just sayin'... lolz!!!

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