May 14, 2012

Where Do You Fall On The Crazy Scale?


More often than not lately, I’ve been finding my self saying, “What’s wrong with people?  Have they no common sense?”  I have come to the conclusion that indeed common sense is a thing of yesteryear and idiocy is on the rise.  Let’s just take these stories from the past week:  The Tanorexic Mom puts 5 year-old in tanning bed {allegedly, she did} or man ties himself to a tree in hopes of “a romantic interlude”.  Certainly we all do stupid things, but I don’t think 90% of the population has mental illness either.  I think nobody cares anymore.  People are so PC sometimes they don’t want to say, “You are a moron”.  I am not one of those people.  Trust me, if I see you tied your naked self to a tree, I will point out that you are stupid, and then I would call the authorities. But now Tanorexic Mom has her own action figure?  We as a society sensationalize stupid crazy-ass people.  In my mind this only makes crazy people seem funny and we laugh it off...but that's just my common sense talking. 

So I’ve decided just so we’d all be on the same page, that there should be some sort of scale, if you will to determine crazy.  Have you gone too far?  Let me help you.

Level 1: Little Cray or You So Crazy

Level one is harmless stupidity, little nuts; but often times all in the name of fun.  Often level one involves alcohol.  You might profess your undying words of affection or harmless stalkerdom to someone you have a crush on.  You might talk about your sex life to strangers.  You might drunk text inappropriate things, like, “I love you and/or miss you” to your middle school crush, or post a not so attractive photo on Facebook.

Stupid practical jokes that backfire always land you in Level 1.  Level one can also be caused by PMS or PMDD.  Hormonal imbalance will cause people to act a fool sometimes or verbally lash out.  Most but not all weathermen live in level one as well.  Level one often times only embarrasses you, usually minimal damage is done and friendships and relationships can be repaired, but people will say, “Yeah, she’s a little Cray” when they are talking about you behind your back.

Level 2: The Neighborhood Crazy Person

Everyone has a person in their neighborhood that is “off”.  Might be you.  Could be you if you:  yell at kids to get off your lawn, set up a hidden camera to catch the dog pooping on your lawn, consider your lawn to be a family member, care more about grooming your lawn than yourself, mow your lawn everyday so you have the “just mowed look”, mumble to yourself as you manicure your yard, or like my neighbor; sweep your garage daily and wash the tires of your car with the hose before you pull your car into the garage.  Or like my other neighbor who parked his lawn chair in his driveway and drank beer shirtless showing of his huge bypass scar for hours.  Watched or neighborhood watch?  One never knows, but I didn’t dare walk on his lawn.  Also, for the record, I live in a sweet neighborhood...jealous?

Level 3:  He/She Ain’t Right

I believe when you’re walking the line of level 3, you’ve officially crossed over from moron to crazy.  Here common sense is gone, because you are officially crazy; or need to seek professional help.  Level 3 involves people, usually exes or stalker types who won't take no for an answer, lashing out at you via text message for no good reason and calling you names.  Somehow they believe that calling you an effing bleep will make you run back into their arms or make you miraculously 'wake up' and find them irresistible.  Ain’t right people will contradict themselves in one sentence.  Not that I’d know, but I know.  Making you say, “Did he just say what I thought he said?" and question if indeed you did used to torture cats as a child or if you were just playing.  I think level 3’s often walk the snap line.  You just don’t know if they will snap or if they are crazy. 
                                                                            Source: Uploaded by user via Cari on Pinterest



Level 4:  Change Your Address and Tell Them You’ve Moved

This would be a clear indicator of crazy from the start.  For example, a guy takes you to Long John Silvers for a first date and then says how he loves to rub pregnant bellies.  {True story, ask Marjorie, but Don’t Call Her Marge}.  I advise hiding and maybe even garnering a weapon. 

I wouldn’t play around with people in level 4.  They aren’t scared of repercussions.  I also think that people that sing loudly {not hum} to themselves in public are level 4’s.  I'm all for singing, but I'm talking about head turning singing like nobody hears you.  If you are doing something that doesn’t look right to the outside world, and you don’t know it….crazy.

Level 5: Red Alert! RUN!

Level 5’s are always news makers.  I am lucky to report that I have had no immediate contact with a person residing in level 5.  Level 5ers will light up cigarettes around flammable material, get plastic surgeries to resemble fictional creatures or real creatures like cats and lizards, they will put others in harms way and often be found naked.  A person on level 5 usually has one or more crazy mug shot photo as well.  Level 5's are an easy read.  I advise not even confronting a level 5, and just running.

Nick Nolte mugshot
Exhibit A: Crazy Nick Nolte

I’m always telling my friend, Christina,  when we get whooped up about something and I decide to keep my mouth shut instead of speak out it is for this reason:  I don’t mess with crazy people.  You will never convince them they are wrong OR crazy, so I don’t go there.

I’m not sure where I fall in the crazy scale, one or even two one any given day. How about you, have you breached any of the levels or know someone that has?  What about common sense?  Is it teachable or forgotten?

Disclaimer:  If you have a mugshot, please submit.


44 comments:

  1. Sweet! Of course you just described all of your relatives (my side) lol!

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  2. It seems one either has common sense or doesn't have it. It's kind of sad when you have it and have to be around others who have none. Or funny.

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    1. I suppose. I used to think people that were really "book smart" seemed to have less common sense. But it's a free-for-all really. I would like to think it can be taught, otherwise we are in some serious trouble. Now funny, yeah, you have it or don't. Not everyone is Seinfeld.

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  3. hahaha hahahah. Girl, you so crazy. I don't have much patience for the crazies that aren't fun. Meaning once you start scaring me and I think you're going to hurt someone then I have to use phrases like "i'll cut you" and I kinda look crazy too. That blocked meme just reminded me I need to see if weatherman is on Facebook. I meant to friend him.

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    1. Stalker. At least Brick Tamland is following you...that says something right there. Something crazy.

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  4. Hilarious! Thanks for a good Monday morning laugh! I'm so crazy AND you're so crazy! That's what makes us friends. At least, that's what I tell the voices in my head... ;-)

    -Angela

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    1. Don't even get me started on the voices. They told me to leave them out of this post. Little crazy is necessary in life.:)

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  5. here's my question for ya...why did it get to this point?
    Why don't people care any more?

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    1. *steps onto soap box*

      Well in my opinion, because we are desensitized to crazy-ass behavior. It has become the norm, AND it has become the acceptable way to sell crap and get your 15 minutes of fame. Even bloggers take the shock route for page views. The more shocking the better, I hate that. I don't even want to know how many stupid things celebrities pull are staged. People forget, and they will pay to see fools that talk about Tiger's blood on stage. We have created that monster.

      Also, we as a society are raising narcissistic kids who care only for themselves and have an ego bigger than they are. Not suitable role models because nobody takes any accountability for their wrong-doings. Politicians, media, religious groups. We feed it.

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  6. After reading all these, I think I'm pretty sane. :-) This was a surprise to me, but I'll take it.

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    1. I think people that own a little of their crazy aren't really crazy. Except for me, maybe.

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  7. I took my vacuum out on to the front porch the other day... the mat was so bad... then I used the hose all around the porch. Is that level 2?

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    1. I don't know. I too have taken my vacuum outside a time or two. I think it's smart to be honest, the mat just gets cleaner that way. Not sure if I am enabling your crazy or if we are both brilliant. Since it's my blog, I say brilliant.

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  8. I'm around Pi on the scale... is that a good or bad thing?

    (mmm.....pie...)

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    1. That actually put you at level 3.141592653589....

      I concur about the pie.

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  9. Baaaahaaaa! I am definitely a Level oner (or at least that's where I "think" I am)?!? ;P

    Growing up we had a "Lawn Lover" in the neighbourhood too. He would even rake the snow to get rid of any footprints. Youza!

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    1. WHAT! Hahahaha! Well living in the frozen tundra, people can get pretty darn picky about the snowblower lines, but raking, that's a new one. I'm glad you weren't kidnapped and kept in the basement for safe keeping.

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  10. Definitely at least Level One. I have jumping Tourette's so maybe even Level Four.

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    1. That's enduring. Probably why we get along so well. Thanks for letting me mention Long John. And I'm glad you're safe.

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  11. I like to think I'm on the lighter side of crazy! And yes, alcohol is often involved, but as the solution not the problem!

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    1. Good call. Which reminds me, I need a drink.

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  12. This is some scientific stuff! I suggest you send it to the American Journal of Scientific Stuff for the Layperson.
    I might be level 1 as my pantry resembles something like a just-stocked grocery aisle. I also put away food using the FIFO (First-in, first-out) system. Or does that just make me a possible serial killer?

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    1. Bahaha! FK, I'm stealing that for my next blog name. I do deserve some sort of award. FIFO, you say? Well I'd only say you're a serial killer if you actually stab someone who messes with the FIFO with a butcher knife.

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  13. Wow, comprehensive list of crazies. I have to be a level 1...too much of that stuff hits too close to home.

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    1. Anyone who denies they aren't crazy is a liar. Plus they aren't any fun...and I like fun people.

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  14. I'm definitely a Level One, but only for a few days a month, if you know what I mean. ;)

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    1. Wink. I know. I also forgot to add sleep deprivation...that makes me one crazy fool.

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  15. common sense is anything but common. crazy, however, is running rampant these days!!!!

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    1. I know right? It's maddening. Somebody is going to get hurt...again.

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  16. LOL...Common sense told me this one needed to be featured in the latest episode of Blogging Destinations: http://mjjoachim.blogspot.com/2012/05/blogging-destinations-episode-3-blog.html

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  17. Gosh...common sense isn't so common in the world.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  18. LMAO... I hit each of these levels at various times each week. Thus far I haven't killed anyone, so I guess that's okay... ? ((( SAY YES. )))

    love me some crazy!
    hate me some STUPID, EFFED UP, NONSENSE!

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    1. Killing is like a level 6 or something...I didn't even go there so you're safe. And yes, nonsense drives me to unfriend, unfollow and block. Call me crazy:)

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  19. I'm a level one, bordering on level 2. We make crazy look sexy, don't we?

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    1. Absolutely! Nick Nolte on the other hand, not sexy.

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  20. Yeah, I'm a little bit of all of these.

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  21. Oh - but let me clarify that I'm no moron. Everyone knows you don't send a kid to the tanning bed until age 6.

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  22. Haha! Awesome post... yes, we are definitely living among the crazies! But a kid in the tanning bed?? Seriously?!?! Geesh! *hanging my head in disgust* Some people!

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  23. PS- I'm new to your blog but LOVE it! Please check mine out, too! www.singlemomme101.blogspot.com. Thanks!

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