Where Do You Fall On The Crazy Scale?

More often than not lately, I’ve been finding my self saying, “What’s wrong with people?  Have they no common sense?”  I have come to the conclusion that indeed common sense is a thing of yesteryear and idiocy is on the rise.  Let’s just take these stories from the past week:  The Tanorexic Mom puts 5 year-old in tanning bed {allegedly, she did} or man ties himself to a tree in hopes of “a romantic interlude”.  Certainly we all do stupid things, but I don’t think 90% of the population has mental illness either.  I think nobody cares anymore.  People are so PC sometimes they don’t want to say, “You are a moron”.  I am not one of those people.  Trust me, if I see you tied your naked self to a tree, I will point out that you are stupid, and then I would call the authorities. But now Tanorexic Mom has her own action figure?  We as a society sensationalize stupid crazy-ass people.  In my mind this only makes crazy people seem funny and we laugh it off...but that's just my common sense talking. 

So I’ve decided just so we’d all be on the same page, that there should be some sort of scale, if you will to determine crazy.  Have you gone too far?  Let me help you.

Level 1: Little Cray or You So Crazy

Level one is harmless stupidity, little nuts; but often times all in the name of fun.  Often level one involves alcohol.  You might profess your undying words of affection or harmless stalkerdom to someone you have a crush on.  You might talk about your sex life to strangers.  You might drunk text inappropriate things, like, “I love you and/or miss you” to your middle school crush, or post a not so attractive photo on Facebook.

Stupid practical jokes that backfire always land you in Level 1.  Level one can also be caused by PMS or PMDD.  Hormonal imbalance will cause people to act a fool sometimes or verbally lash out.  Most but not all weathermen live in level one as well.  Level one often times only embarrasses you, usually minimal damage is done and friendships and relationships can be repaired, but people will say, “Yeah, she’s a little Cray” when they are talking about you behind your back.

Level 2: The Neighborhood Crazy Person

Everyone has a person in their neighborhood that is “off”.  Might be you.  Could be you if you:  yell at kids to get off your lawn, set up a hidden camera to catch the dog pooping on your lawn, consider your lawn to be a family member, care more about grooming your lawn than yourself, mow your lawn everyday so you have the “just mowed look”, mumble to yourself as you manicure your yard, or like my neighbor; sweep your garage daily and wash the tires of your car with the hose before you pull your car into the garage.  Or like my other neighbor who parked his lawn chair in his driveway and drank beer shirtless showing of his huge bypass scar for hours.  Watched or neighborhood watch?  One never knows, but I didn’t dare walk on his lawn.  Also, for the record, I live in a sweet neighborhood...jealous?

Level 3:  He/She Ain’t Right

I believe when you’re walking the line of level 3, you’ve officially crossed over from moron to crazy.  Here common sense is gone, because you are officially crazy; or need to seek professional help.  Level 3 involves people, usually exes or stalker types who won't take no for an answer, lashing out at you via text message for no good reason and calling you names.  Somehow they believe that calling you an effing bleep will make you run back into their arms or make you miraculously 'wake up' and find them irresistible.  Ain’t right people will contradict themselves in one sentence.  Not that I’d know, but I know.  Making you say, “Did he just say what I thought he said?" and question if indeed you did used to torture cats as a child or if you were just playing.  I think level 3’s often walk the snap line.  You just don’t know if they will snap or if they are crazy. 

                                                                            Source: Uploaded by user via Cari on Pinterest

Level 4:  Change Your Address and Tell Them You’ve Moved

This would be a clear indicator of crazy from the start.  For example, a guy takes you to Long John Silvers for a first date and then says how he loves to rub pregnant bellies.  {True story, ask Marjorie, but Don’t Call Her Marge}.  I advise hiding and maybe even garnering a weapon. 

I wouldn’t play around with people in level 4.  They aren’t scared of repercussions.  I also think that people that sing loudly {not hum} to themselves in public are level 4’s.  I'm all for singing, but I'm talking about head turning singing like nobody hears you.  If you are doing something that doesn’t look right to the outside world, and you don’t know it….crazy.

Level 5: Red Alert! RUN!

Level 5’s are always news makers.  I am lucky to report that I have had no immediate contact with a person residing in level 5.  Level 5ers will light up cigarettes around flammable material, get plastic surgeries to resemble fictional creatures or real creatures like cats and lizards, they will put others in harms way and often be found naked.  A person on level 5 usually has one or more crazy mug shot photo as well.  Level 5's are an easy read.  I advise not even confronting a level 5, and just running.

Exhibit A: Crazy Nick Nolte

I’m always telling my friend, Christina,  when we get whooped up about something and I decide to keep my mouth shut instead of speak out it is for this reason:  I don’t mess with crazy people.  You will never convince them they are wrong OR crazy, so I don’t go there.

I’m not sure where I fall in the crazy scale, one or even two one any given day. How about you, have you breached any of the levels or know someone that has?  What about common sense?  Is it teachable or forgotten?

Disclaimer:  If you have a mugshot, please submit.