I like the preface of the movie, guy goes nuts, woman supports him, he kind of falls for woman out of guilt (yeah, you know he did), woman realizes she is the only one in love and oh yeah she has a kid, enter break-up, guy says he's not a quitter but not sure he loves her, love her or lose her, buh-bye heart throb, and fairy tale ending crazy dude magically comes to his senses and realizes he loves woman and her kid.
"You complete me".
"You had me at hello."
"Show me the money."
"Show me the money." No qualms, irritating yes, but bring it.
You had me at hello I can deal with. That doesn't sound the least bit romantic to me, it actually sounds kind of stalkerish and freaky. Really, if a dude said that to me in real life, I'd probably give him my squinty eye and go home. All I have to say about that one is that some things sound better coming out of two gorgeous actors mouths when they are knee-deep in totally unrealistic circumstances. Jerry McGuire isn't based on a true story is it? Should've done my research.
My main concern is "YOU COMPLETE ME". Women swoon over this line. I don't get it. I like romantic gestures and sweet nothings, sure do, but that line is a load of crap. I will go as far to say that line has totally and completely destroyed what people are looking for in a relationship and their expectations of what a relationship should be.
I'm not scarred and bitter, okay, only slightly, but I felt this way even when I was married, just to clarify. To need someone to complete you, would mean that you were void of something, empty, not enough? Why are we looking for the "other half" in a relationship? That is a ton of pressure on the other person.
Sorry Bill, I have to break up with you, you don't complete me.
That would be an unacceptable reason to give someone when breaking it off, why is it an acceptable reason to move forward?
When dating, or in a relationship, shouldn't we find our complement? I find in friendships, my best friends are my opposites, sure we have a lot in common, but I'm drawn to their brilliance, or frugality, or fantastic ability to decorate and organize. They are the Ellen to my Oprah. We can have so much fun together because they can talk me down from going all Thelma and Louise and I can get them drunk when they've had a bad day. My part of the friendship is way easier than theirs.
Perhaps it's my independent nature. But I don't want to feel lost when I don't have my other half. Lonely okay, sad, sure, miss them, yeah whatever. But my partner should build me up, be there for me, and love me for who I am without them. I know I'm already enough, totally imperfect, but perfect for someone. I am already happy and content; a relationship is just the icing. Nothing is lost without that in my life; there is only something to gain. But I will tell you now; you don't get to content without being willing to do the work to get there.
Inevitably almost always in marriage we reach points of disconnect. We grow despite a marriage, and rarely on the same time table. So if someone completes you, yet we keep growing, it's only a matter of time before they have no place. We wonder where does everything fit? Marriage and relationships need on-going re-examination. We have to look at our partner and say, what do they need? That is a two way street. A connection or goose bumps only last so long before we have to decide to put in the work or walk away.
So I wonder are we waiting for the person who will make us feel whole? The person who will fix us? The "one" who will heal all of our hurt? In my mind that person doesn't exist. I fear that is a dangerous way of thinking. When we convince ourselves of that, we are taking a shortcut.
No road is easy in life, this is for certain, there are hills and there are valleys. I don't want someone to carry me, just someone to walk beside me. There is no benefit to either of us if he carries me. He gets weary, I get bored and fat.
So please, America, let's lay "you complete me" to rest. We are far too good for that nonsense.
So talk to me. What say you, "you complete me", love it or hate it?