September 05, 2012

Inbox Full: Why I Don't Listen To Voicemail

I live in a little bubble I like to call denial.  Step away, don't pop it, it's cozy here and I like it.  So for many a year, I have gotten considerably worse about not only answering my voice mail, but listening to it.

I am constantly learning and growing in my life, kind of love that. Probably why I don't return phone calls, growing and stuff.  So when we grow we must face hard, sometimes ugly truths about ourselves and either accept them or change them.  So I am finally owning up to one of my flaws and admitting something to you all {pretty sure a great majority of you might have had an inkling}.

 If you call me and leave a voice mail, 99% chance I will delete it without listening, 50% chance I will call you back.  

I know it makes it seem like I'm all kinds of better than you.  I'm not really.  Had I stayed in therapy, I could've tackled this topic, but I just had bigger fish to fry like how to wean my children off the Angry Birds before I cut them off cold turkey and they have some kind of mental break from withdrawals.

I hate talking on the phone, sure, sure I love you, but rarely will I talk to anyone.  My sister in California, yes, my bff in Tennessee, yes, and a smattering of therapists, teachers, and a friend or two mixed in.  I find it very difficult to talk on the phone and get anything accomplished properly.  Certainly not from my lack of having anything to say, I rarely shut up.  Multi-tasker as I may be, I find it difficult to blog and converse, or wash dishes, or answer emails or troll Facebook.  Come on, that's just rude. {My apologies.}

Maybe I used up all my phone talking-ness as a teenager when I was glued to the phone.  And literally because we didn't get a cordless phone until I was in high school.  You had to stealthily talk in code as all of your deepest, darkest convos with your bffs were there for all to hear from the kitchen.  I thought I was stealthy, no, not stealthy whatsoever.

Why didn't kids of the 80's have all the bff, lol, ttyl and I'm sure the million others that I know nothing about.  That's smart, I never would've got caught sneaking out.  This was my form of texting:

Back to the business.  So you, loving friend that leaves me a voice mail and I lazy-ass friend who glances at phone yet keeps checking off my to-do list, might have a conversion similar to this:

"Cari, did you get my message?"

Yes, I sure did {lie} I was just going to call you {double lie} I've been so busy {99.5% true}.

I don't know why I don't like listening to my voice mail.  It is an unanswered question of the universe that I am not going to pick at.  It is not an uncommon occurrence for my inbox to fill up, and then people get double worried that I'm dead in a ditch murdered by a serial killer.  Yeah, sorry about that. Still kickin'.

So will I get better?  Say I've changed my ways, listen to my voice mail and call you right back?  Most likely no.  In fact, I'm pretty sure, no.

All I can say is text me, I usually answer texts right away, they involve two seconds of typing and then I'm right back to what to what I was doing, like drinking heavily or helping the homeless.

Let's do a little unofficial official poll, because honestly you readers are a well rouneded group.  Why you read this blog, I don't know.

Do you listen to voice mail?  If so, do you call people back right away?


35 comments:

  1. I do this too. I don't have time for phone stuff. I text. If I see I have a vm from someone important like the school I just call back. No idea what anyone says on vm. Plus, if it's an emergency, you just wasted 5 minutes listening to a vm telling you it's an emergency. No thanks. I also save vm's when the caller sounds like Wild Bill. Other than that, vm is a waste of time.

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    1. Please do not delete that, because I won't believe it until I hear it. This is just another reason we were separated a birth, and why we never talk on the phone;)

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  2. Ha ! You made me feel less guilty ! Never check voice mail on home phone, but then it's OK there since DH reg checks it & gives me nudges on returning calls which I rarely do unless it's life threatening or to my mom! Here's where it gets bad... I come back after 10 day vacation & find 62 voice mail flashing on my work machine& am sorely tempted to just delete. Fortunately I have an intern at that time and I ask her to check and write down who called why etc. Lazy right, but 50% were ones I did not need. Am good at texting & e-mails, so wish everyone would just switch to that... except my mom that is. Like hearing her talk !

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    1. 62! Ugh. Where can I get an intern? I return the important calls, but usually I have all the important numbers in my phone and know the number so I'll answer. You have a good hubs there, does he iron too?

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    2. Only his clothes. I but the non crinkle " don't need ironing" stuff :)

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  3. I must admit I hate voice mail and rarely call people back. These days you get no peace....email, answerphones, texts and phonecalls can haunt the life out of you!
    Every time my mobile rings I have an urge to busy myself about while having a conversation......lol xxx

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    1. Yes, good point, it does get to be too much being so connected all the time. I do purposely have to just turn off the phone sometimes, or I will only check it every few hours so I can be more present for my kids. Most of the time;)

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  4. I'm pretty lame I guess. I answer my voice mail....I save it....I listen to it again and again. I'm glad I do. I try to save at least one message from each of my siblings...you never know when it might be the last one....Last Christmas was very special. I'm glad I saved my brothers'. I listen to it every now and then.

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    1. If there ever, ever was a case for me to change my ways, you have convinced me. Now I'm not going to delete any family vm again. I'm weepy, Suzi. What a precious gift to hear E's voice again. Love you!

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  5. I NEVER talk on the phone, I mean it is literally like pulling teeth to get me to answer the phone. I never listen to my vmail either. I know who you are, and I have your number, I will more than likely wait and then text you back with some lame excuse as to why I can't answer. Everyone who knows me knows to text me. I do have a few special vmails that I have kept, but they were like my 220 lb bff singing happy birthday LOL. As for returning calls.....there is about zero chance it's going to happen. Between work, school, and my ever growing little Chick I don't have time sit on the phone.

    I must apologize, I have been a terrible friend lately. :( I have missed you all and I will be back at it soon. School is taking up a LOT of my time right now. Working in the clinic, doing event massage, Anatomy test, weekend electives, and on and on. I stay up to date, I always check in on you. :) Miss you lady!!

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    1. I miss you too, was thinking about you and glad you're still kickin'. I know better than to say call me;) I think we did that once and it is never going to happen. Therefore, I say one of these days, I'm going to have to venture your direction and take you out for a drinky. Love ya, sweetie, keep on going and hang in there!

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    2. A night out with you sounds like more fun than I can remember having, I think we would be the most sasstastic chickies in the place. :-D Definitely the hottest. It's funny, everyone always asks me when the best time to call is and I never have an answer, lol. I mean really, even when I'm home handling a phone conversation and an almost 3 year old is dang near impossible. Feel free to text me anytime, you have my number, those I will return within minutes as long as I'm not in class. I hope everything is going well for you. Graduation day and the licensing exam is creeping up on me (February) and it is crazy to think that I am over halfway through. I promise blogapalooza when I have time, because I definitely have plenty to post, ooh girl life is getting downright interesting.

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    3. There is no question the hottest! Pssshht. Um, lost your number when my Crackberry died, finally. Message me, I need to know what's up in Angel's world!

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  6. I have to listen to them at work, but luckily, I usually only get one or two of them when I'm out on vacation. I make The Mrs. check them at home. I hate voicemail. If they don't know me well enough to text me, then they're obviously not important enough to be called back!

    I have a great friend of mine who has my cell phone number. He will call me, knowing that cell phones alert people to missed calls, and will still leave a voice mail message. "Hey, man, it's me."

    WTF!!!??? Are you stuck on stupid? Now I have to go into my voicemail and delete the message just to get rid of that stupid icon stuck at the top of my taskbar! Ugh!!!!

    Sorry. You hit a sore spot with me. :)

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    1. Hahaha, Q, I know, that's why I wrote it. I turned off my vm alerts which may be why it fills up so fast. I don't understand that either. Your friend needs an intervention. See I need to get married and pass the vm buck;)

      I've been a bad bloggy blog friend and haven't visited you lately or listened to your show...:(

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    2. It's cool. Life happens. Things get busy. :)

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  7. There is no way I talk on the phone anymore... I use my phone to track feeding times and video to keep my daughter occupied while I feed her brother. But use to contact other humans - less than 1% of the time. So sad.

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    1. Girl I get it. I wish I had a smartphone when the two were teensy. Phones do so much more than they ever used to, maybe that's why I don't talk as much because I'm too busy calculating mileage or downloading another app.

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  8. I do not answer the phone, which drives my hubz mad, as he likes to pick up regardless of telemarketer, work, or family. I hate phone calls because they are intrusive & demanding, like I don't have a say in the matter. My family says it's rude not to answer. But I completely resent that. Now that we have less invasive means of communication, I think it's rude to expect me to answer. I'm not at anyone's beck & call. As many have already pointed out, you know how to best get a response, so why not pursue those avenues? Then I can reply on my own time, in my own way, rather than on the spot when I can't give you my full attention. *blah*

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    1. That line about your hubs picking up regardless made me twitchy. I loathe telemarketers, poor kids get more than they bargained for if I have to talk to them, and those kiosk people in the mall, they get under my skin too. I do admire their tenacity, but that's about it.

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  9. Oh god...Been 20-nunya years since high school and I STILL remember how to fold a note like the one in that pic. How wrong is that. On another note, note to self... Never call Cari! LOLOL

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    1. I know, isn't that sad, I can fold one in my sleep. I think I permanently screwed myself with this post and nobody is ever going to call me again, hahaha!

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  10. Sometimes I answer my phone, sometimes I don't. Depends on who it is. I prefer texting though. Seems, for most people, long phone conversations have gone by way of the dinosaur. Like the telegraph.

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    1. True, but I had a realization yesterday when I was talking to my bff, on the phone actually. If I didn't have a smartphone as wasn't checking twitter, fb and texting, I might actually check my voicemail. Who knew?

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  11. OMG, I'm so glad there's two of us. The ringing phone fills me with a deep sense of unease. The sound of my answering machine offends me. I'm actually a functioning member of society-- I think I just hate to be interrupted. At least: that's how I'm spinning it. *anxietydisorder (cough!)

    Sorry, what did you say?

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    1. Well I'm not sure fall into functioning member of society, hahaha. Love your comment;)

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  12. I listen to my personal voicemails, but I hardly ever listen to my work voicemail. It's difficult to get into, like my own automated death trap just waiting for me to go insane with the frustration of trying to get my voicemail in the first place, mixed with the incredibly low interest I have in getting it at all. These two forces battling makes my head want to explode and so I live in denial that I might have voicemail at all and only check every other week or so. If they really wanted to get in touch with me, they'd call my cell phone or send me an email. Mustn't be THAT important.

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    1. "automated death trap", word. I figure if something important happens I'd find out one way or another.

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  13. OMG, I could have written this post myself. In fact, if you give me permission, I will post it, word for word. I will then tell everyone someone else wrote it, but if they read it, they will certainly understand me better.

    Thanks you for this post!

    Also, I like your blog. I just found it a few moments ago! :)

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  14. You have my permission to repost it, tell your friends to read this post by a crazy girl and then non-nonchalantly say, "well, she has a point". I do that all the time.

    Thanks for reading, I think I've seen you around the Twitterverse?

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Let me know what you think by posting a comment or sending me an email, bubblegumonmyshoe@yahoo.com. I promise not to stalk you if you do!