November 14, 2012

Reasons I'd Win A Fight: A Triad Post

The Triad is back!  If you have no idea what I am talking about, you should click, hereWell we technically never left, but one member has been has been forced into fur-baby parenthood, and we were unsure if she had totally crossed over to the dark side of cat lady land.  At any rate, that’s probably just an excuse and the real truth is we are too lazy or forget what we were going to write about.  If we ever get a petty cash fund, I’m totally hiring a {hot} assistant to unscramble our off-topic messages to one another.  

Support the Triad's Movember efforts, I know, gnarly
I know some rumors have been circulating that we have broken up, and I’m here to set the record straight.  Neither have we replaced any of the members or acquired another member, all Destiny's Child-like, making this a Bitchery Quartet.  For the record, the Triad could never fight each other, we are all too awesome and it really would end in a tragic fight to the death.  
However, I may or may not have found myself in the heat of battle a time or two, thus we bring you:

Reasons I’d Win A Fight

Oh Snap! I Think It Through
I am not one of those people that spew out the first thing that comes to mind when in the heat of battle.  Most often, when that happens, people churn all sorts of jackassedness out, because they feel attacked or the need to defend, right away.  Oh no, I sit back, take it all in, and then craft a witty response while attempting to keep my composure.  This makes me more Ninja than Christina.  I do not care to do battle in the, "You are, NO you ARE", format.  Pointless.  I don’t need the last word; I prefer to be the coherent one.  I’m not in any way, shape or form fit for a reality show.

I Don’t Actually Care:
I almost threw a punch at another girl once, long, long ago, but came to my senses at the last minute.  Why?  I really didn’t care.  Plus she was bigger than me.  Know when to walk away friends, trying to prove bravery might only make you look like a bigger fool.  Not much bothers me.  Tell your drama to your Mama, or Llama, or Obama.  I don’t care.  I probably should, but I’m not going to allow your vie for attention bait me.  You see, this doesn’t make me better than you, I just have more control.

I’m In a Bad-Ass Gang, aka, Triad
You really can’t fight with someone that’s in a gang, or a Triad.  Because we will defend each other no matter what.  We are officially a gang because we have a caricature and twitter handle, that's official peeps.  It's what all the cool gangs do. We will throw down in a battle with weapons, much like the Anchorman, Channel 5 News Team.  I’m talking back alley brawl, tridents and grenades. 


Now go check out Christina and Marjorie's posts and find out why we broke the fight club rules and went public. 

31 comments:

  1. Ooops, I thought you mean FIST fight...

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    Replies
    1. Open for interpretation McAtee, you can go all squirrel ninja and I think up something to say while you kick ass.

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    2. That's why we make such a good team.

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    3. Word. Plus Christina will bring the weapons, we're really a well rounded group.

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  2. hahah Wait a minute... "more ninja than Christina". We may have to discuss this.

    And also, Bitchery Quartet doesn't sound right. We may have to go straight to a Bitchery Pentagon.

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    Replies
    1. Or Octagon of Bitchassery, but then we have to find a handful of bitchery people and we can't even get it together between the three of us. I'm talking to management about this.

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    2. All I can do is shake my head and crack up at you all. LOL!

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  3. Cariiiiiii! Hiya, long time no stalk! lol Just wanted to pop in and show your page some love before you get frozen in for the winter! Peace!

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  4. Sounds snarkily like you've been on some beach escapade again...going to have to check your blog:) Oh, this blog hasn't been stalkable for 6 months or so. Thanks, Dean!

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  5. Way to accept your bitchery? I think that's a word.

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    Replies
    1. We actually made it a word, butchery is an actual word, I will not stop until auto-correct recognizes bitchery:)

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  6. Oh you went cerebral on it! Ok I must admit I am impressed - so does this mean you're the general who calls the plays while Christina tridents some poor fool to death and Marjorie does a vicious razor-tooth bite attack?

    lol you all oughtta have your own video game!

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    Replies
    1. I like where you're going, John. If we do a video game, we'll have to have you do the graphics. Do you like how I "stached" your masterpiece up there, lol.

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    2. LOL at first I was like "who DARES desecrate my masterpiece?" but then I couldn't stop looking at it and I thought "no...THIS is the true masterpiece!"

      i wish i woulda thought of it...

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    3. Hahaha, John you know if we would've had you stache the piece we would've had you making our boobs bigger and all kinds of nonsense. Kind of makes me laugh that we had you redo the eyebrows eleventy million times only for me to put a big unibrow on it,lol!

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  7. I'd be totally in on the Octagon or quartet.

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    Replies
    1. Duly noted, Amberr. We have a strict set of criteria that I'm not sure you even want to admit to.

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  8. Hahaha glad the triad is back. I don't doubt you're more ninja than Christina... though I suspect she'll want to fight to the death to prove otherwise x

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    Replies
    1. Well, she is ninja master and apparently Marjorie is squirrel ninja, so I had to sneak it in somewhere.

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  9. I only lost one fight in my lifetime. I was looking back to see how close the guy was getting, and ran into a tree!!

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha, I laugh only because I've been there, but it wasn't a tree, it was a mailbox;)

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