|This cat looks dangerous, I wouldn't cross it|
So no more beating around the bush, here are five ways to know you are a cat lady:
Your Cats Have Long-Ass Names
That's right. The first step on the slippery slope into cat lady land is naming your cat something besides Sprinkles or Mr. Kitty. Sure, sure, I'm positive someone can make an argument for breeding or some such thing, but my friends, that's denial and you know it. If your cat has more than three names, a prefix included in the name, or a title, check yourself. Absolutely I'll give you examples.
*Hector Rodriguez Fluffington, Jr.
*Admiral Bingo VonBobbin Catbeard
*Miss Marple Pretty Kitty
*Snowball Megatron, but you call him Michael
Admiral? Really? Everyone knows cats hate water. I'm just telling you, if you rattle off some long-ass name for your cat, it's going to say something about you. It's going to say, you don't play around...and you might be a cat lady.
You Have More Cats Than There Are Kennedy's
If you are starting to name your cats after the Kennedy's, Osmond's, or Brady Bunch, there might be a problem. I of course would probably just say, the yellow one, the black one, the striped one, the mean one; but I'm not a cat lady. You could always number them too if you needed, 5, 9, 24; but numbers and denial don't mix.
You Can't Pay Your Electric Bill
If you are strapped for cash and can't pay your electric bill because all your money is going to gourmet kitty food and a weekly trip to Sam's Club for litter, you might be a cat lady. I don't think I really need to expand on this one, do I?
You Admit It
You Avoid Your Friends To Play With Your Cat(s)
Oh yes she did! This should not be happening at 30 years old, and this post might be an intervention. Because one of the 5 Reasons I'm Smokin' Hot, cannot be, "because my cat said so". I will have you know the Triad did not break up and we are dealing with the situation. We refuse to lose M.M. to the dark side. Make sure you read the Triad posts regarding cat ladies, here and here.
Did I forget any reasons? What are some more warning signs?
Or you could tell me some funny cat names, because that was kind of fun actually.